Izzati turns 9!

Happy 9th birthday, Izzati 🎈

May you grow healthy and solehah. May you always make your parents happy and protect your brother, Zharfan. May Allah swt keep you safe and give you success in dunya and akhirat. Your birth gives so much joy to our family and we still do enjoy your antics and cleverness. Many say you look like Um, may you also follow her good character and wisdom. Insyallah.

Love,
Makteh

Graduation part 2 🎓

Found it! Um and me during my Master convocation. That day, there was too many people when the convocation ended.

I left my phone with a friend but finally found my parents after searching everywhere, psychic 😆. We don’t take any official photo but this is enough.

That morning I asked them,

“Kenapa tak masuk dengan jubah? Boleh duduk depan”

(Why didn’t you both enter with robe, you can sit in front? )

“Kami nak masuk sebagai parents”

(We want to enter as your parents )

And beam her proud smile.
Alhamdulillah.

USM Convocation, 2015.

Once upon a graduation 🎓

Alhamdulillah. Um have always been my biggest supporter. When I wanted to quit and give up my Master, she was the one who blow my spirit back again, by asking me to Fight before the real fight. I was on my Third Year of my Master, and have not collected my data. Things were too overwhelming and I feel so tired by the long journey. I still remember crying endlessly at our usual Mamak. Abi was laughing hysterically, looking at me, who reminded of him when he once wanted to give up too. Men is just bad at ‘pujuk’ 😂

Um however, talked me out of quitting at her office. She asked me to think and reflect what is it stopping me from moving forward as I had pretty much no reason not to give up.

Upon reflection, it’s all my own self motivation. I decide to block all negative thought and replace it with good thought as I finish my Master.

If I can only write my thesis a paragraph a day, its okay, a line, its okay, nothing at all, it’s okay, I can just go to Georgetown and take a break, Jalan2 Cari Makan was my theraphy.
I become so familiar of the roads in Georgetown whenever I had to bring my friends as tour guide.

Eventually I passed my Viva, and find myself sitting alone under a tree in disbelief before tears fell. Alhamdulillah. Um Abi was so happy to see me graduate, that they decided to enter as Parents even if they can get in as Lecturer with their robe like in my Degree.

Um have always try to get me to continue my PhD but only in a topic that I choose to study in. InsyAllah, one day I’ll find the right research that will mean close to me and will never give up on it until I graduate. For now, I be focusing on other things in my priority hehe.

Thank you Um and Abi for being the shadow that follows me everywhere. Um will always live inside us and light the way. Insyallah

Ps: this was my Degree robe 😂

Abi in his much younger days, he still fits this shirt and blazer until now. Alhamdulillah

How are you coping?

For the past week, many asked how I am coping, some waited until I reach out to them, some when Im ready to meet shared the same pain of losing someone they love. It’s like a whole new dimension when we can relate to one particular event in our life that changes everything.

To those who asked, thank you for asking and looking out for us. You know who you are.

Alhamdulillah and thank you for their concern. Recovering. Slowly, but surely, I said. At the mosque the other day while eating with a stranger of the sudden rizq when I was hungry. I find myself sharing about my long journey and Um’s passing. Before we parted I advice her to choose the best for whatever she becomes because our choices will effect how she wants to live in the future. The kind of life we live, the friends we surround with, and importantly our relationship with Allah swt.

Many decisions I made back then lead me to where I am now. Alhamdulillah for the detours and delays as I see it as a blessing in disguise only to be revealed now, I will continue to learn.

The stranger, is a student who couldn’t spend time with her parents because they live in Pahang. I reassure them that it does not matter how far you are as long as you keep in touch and care for your parents your own way. If one day she is destined to work far away , accept it, because Allah swt choose her to provide her family with the extra wealth she have in future.

“Kalau kerja jauh, terima, kalau duduk dekat, pun terima. Sebab senua tu ada hikmahNya”

Either way, if we work far or near with our parents, there is always hikmah or wisdom in everything that lead to our path back to Allah swt.

May Allah swt continue to help us get through this time. Insyallah.

‘PA’ peribadi

Jika ada di antara kita adik beradik yang ditakdirkan menjaga ibu bapa tapi kerjanya biasa2 sahaja, terima dengan redha dan hargailah masa bersama. Ada hikmah yang Allah swt simpan untuk masa depan. Sokonglah mereka, dan bantu mereka jika kita lebih berkemampuan kerana mereka dikurniakan masa yang lebih menjaga keperluan ibu bapa kita.

Um dan Abi sangat menyokong keputusan saya berhenti kerja 2 tahun lalu. Um tak pernah berhenti menenangkan saya bahawa rezeki saya bersama ibu bapa ada hikmahnya.

” Takpe kakteh , Um percaya, satu hari kakteh akan dapat kerja yang sesuai dengan kakteh”

Walaupun ada yang tidak setuju dengan pilihan hidup kita, jika ibu bapa kita redha dengan pilihan kita. Teruskan berbakti pada ibu bapa. Hikmahnya, kita diberi peluang menjaga ibu bapa di kala adik beradik lain sibuk dengan komitmen masing2.

Um tak pernah membezakan anak-anaknya dan faham akan komitmen masing2. Dia tahu setiap anak-anaknya sayang dengan cara tersendiri. Um tetap gembira dengan setiap kejayaan anak-anaknya walaupun kecil atau besar mana sekalipun.

Banyak yang Um ajar dan kongsi bersama sepanjang menjaganya, sebagai ‘PA’ peribadi, saya sering mengikutnya kemana saja jika Abi tak dapat ikut serta.

Adakala saya perlu tulis paper bersama, Um akan ajar saya cara menulis, memberi bahan rujukan, dan ‘edit’ paper bersama. Adakala saya perlu temannya ke mesyuarat di dalam mahupun luar negara, saya akan ikut serta dan memastikan keperluannya terjaga.

Kali pertama menulis paper bersama, Um terkejut dengan kebolehan saya menulis (akademik) dan tidak risau jika saya lambat siapkan paper. Apabila saya buntu, dia akan membantu saya mencari perkataan yang sesuai untuk menggantikannya. Kebolehan Um menulis paper tidak dapat disangkal, Um boleh menulis dalam masa 2-3 hari jika masa menulis pendek. Entah bila dan bagaimana Um membaca rujukan yang nak dihantar, apabila diminta Um akan menyiapkannya dalam jangka masa diberi walaupun sibuk.

Sebagai anak, saya sudah buat yang terbaik menjaganya. Setiap hari, saya berdoa agar kami terus redha dan istiqamah menerima ketetapanNya. Alhamdulillah apabila masanya tiba, Allah swt memudahkan kami semua memulangkan Um kepada penciptaNya.

Pesan Abi, setiap kali teringatkan Um, ingatlah penciptaNya. Jangan pernah rasa sedih sehingga meratapi pemergiannya, sebaliknya gembira dan bersyukur dengan kepulangan Um yang sangat baik kepadaNya. Jika sedih atau berfikir negatif, istighfar. Jika gembira, ucapkan syukur dan puji Yang Maha Esa. Bersangka baik dengan setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Contohilah peribadinya dan teruskan amalan yang telah dimulakannya. Semoga menjadi pahala dan jariah buat Um.

Sepertimana hadith Rasulullah SAW,

Daripada Abu Hurairah RA bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda,

Jika seseorang manusia meninggal dunia maka terputuslah segala amalannya melainkan tiga perkara, iaitu

☑ sedekah yang berterusan
☑ Ilmu pengetahuan yang dapat memberi faedah (kepada dirinya atau kepada orang lain)
☑ anak yang soleh/solehah yang beramal baik dan sentiasa mendoakan kepadanya

Oleh itu, apa jua ilmu pengetahuan, kebolehan yang kita ada, sekiranya dapat memberi faedah kepada diri dan orang lain, walauapapun yang dikerjakan, gunakanlah untuk manfaat bersama.

Rezeki yang sedikit, berkat, yang banyak diagih-agihkan kerana di dalam rezeki kita ada hak orang lain. Bahkan orang yang memerlukan itu sebenarnya kita yang berkemampuan, kerana orang yang kita bantu sebenarnya peluang dari Allah swt dan cara untuk kita berbuat amal kebaikan.

Letaklah dunia di dalam tangan, bukan di hati. Supaya bila tiba masa untuk melepaskan apa yang pernah dipinjamkan kepada kita, kita ikhlas memulangkannya kembali. Insyallah.

Untuk Um, kakteh tak pernah rasa susah, sebaliknya senang dan gembira dapat menjaga Um selama ini. Kerja yang paling sesuai telah lama kakteh dapat, iaitu menjaga Um dan Abi sebaik mungkin. Terima kasih atas peluang dan rezeki yang dikongsi bersama. Alhamdulillah.