How to deal with losing friends

“No matter what the reason, we all know what its like to lose a friend and it sucks. Its kinda like a break up where you have this period of being just sad and you wanna call them, and you wanna know where it went wrong and you’re mourning, you’re moping, until finally one day, you wish them well and you move on with your life.

The first step is to self reflect,and to try to find something that you learn from the friendship. There’s something about mentally learning something from an experience makes it feels whole and complete and in essence, finished

Second, don’t let this experience deter you from emotionally engaging other people. Don’t let one experience with someone completely change how you interact with other people

And finally, let yourself feels the feeling. There’s so many times when the past comes up, and we just wanna push it away. Or our first instinct is to be like “Oh don’t think about that” but its important to give yourself permission. So if you miss someone, let yourself just miss them and be like, you know what? That’s fine, I really miss that person in this moment, but its over for a reason and let yourself sit with that for as long as you need to sit with that

Ultimately, we all are going to lose a lot of friends in our life. But we also gonna gain a lot of friends and a lot of experiences.”

Desire

“I wish i could tell you its going to get easier, I wish i could tell if you just keep going its going to get lighter. The truth is you got to find something within, and thats gotta push you, thats got to elevate you, drive you, move you, ..when you find your ‘why’, you find your way to make it happen

Time to face yourself and talk to yourself in the mirror, and im not going to allow anybody to turn me around, I am determined that I am going to make it.

The time for just wishing is past, time for doing thats the time right now. Time for acting on your dream , find out what it is you want and go after it as if your life depends on it”

Of CDM25, Uncle Sim & Kiki

No matter how angry we are, Uncle  Sim deserves to be angry more than we do, and yet he forgives. Hate the action, not the person, or the religion, nor their race. Dont generalize one person action for the whole population.
What makes us any different when we continue to say harsh words towards her ? We are no different than a road bully when we choose to be a cyber bully towards her.

Personally, I don’t agree with the way she treats the elders, even if its not the month of Ramadhan. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kind regardless their race or religion.
However i feel that we too need to learn to let go and forgive the same way the uncle did. My respect to Uncle Sim, and may this be a learning lesson for all.
Spread peace and love not war and hate.

 

 

 

“When deep injury is done to us, 
We never recover until we forgive. 
Forgiveness does not change the past, 
But it does enlarge the future.” 

The late Mary Karen Read, Virginia Tech shooting victim

Thank you!

 

 

We had some good times and I sure won't forget 'em, but at the end of the day, you made me shoulder too much of the blame for things I had nothing to do with.

source: delusioninabox

 

Looking back I always wondered if I really truly wasted time on situations that shouldn’t have mattered so much or on people that I didn’t really matter all that much to. I know I have but it was a learning experience and I have moved on. And in order to know that we were wasting time is through our experiences. Now I am not saying that those people had a right to treat you like you don’t matter and they certainly don’t have a right to feel like they were lesson that you needed to learn. Most people who come into your life don’t purposely want to hurt you or let you down, it just happens. In the end they wouldn’t feel honored for “teaching you how to let go.” They would most likely have wished things would have ended differently and not end up apart of your past. But everything happens for reason and I have learned to trust again and to love again and I have walked away from those who have offered nothing solid or positive in the forms of a friendship. If you are the lesson I was supposed to have learned…well believe me when I tell you it taught me how to walk away and to keep on walking from people who only pretended to be there for me. You brought me to the right places and eventually helped me find the right people. Thanks for the beautiful life lessons, but don’t expect an award. Every lesson that was meant to teach me something has taught me a lot – and I have taken that lesson with me on my journey. But I’m sure I’d get along fine whether or not you were there to teach me. The truth is I knew how to “let go” all along, but sometimes we end up trusting the wrong people or expect too much from a friend who was only willing to give so little.
Joanna Strafford

 

Charlie Day’s commencement address

 

“You cannot let a fear of failure, or a fear of comparison or a fear of judgement stop you from doing what’s going to make you great, you cannot succeed without this risk of failure, you cannot have a voice without the risk of criticism and you cannot love without the risk of lost. You must go out and you must take this risk. –

None of it comes easy, and people will tell you what makes you happy, but a lot of this has been hard work. and i am not always happy. And i don’t think you should do just what makes you happy, i think you should do what makes you great. Do what’s uncomfortable, and scary and hard but pays off in the long run.

Be willing to fail, let yourself fail. Fail in the place where you want to fail fail, pick yourself up and fail again. because without this struggle what is success anyway? Look its best that we know we only have one life, in it you have to trust your own voice, your own ideas, your honesty, your vulnerability and through this you will find your way.

You do not have to be fearless, just don’t let fear stop you. Live like this as best you can and i guarantee you will look back on a life well lived. You are capable of greatness in your profession and more importantly, your quality of self. Stay hungry, stay young at heart, take those risk, you are going to change the world around you in big ways and in small, and i greatly looking forward to be part of the future that you will shape.”

 

Chinese friends during Ramadhan

 

We all got that one friend who is always kind enough to understand our culture differences and respect our religion, this is not just applicable to chinese, but other non muslims friends.

I remember having one good friend who would fast with me, even though it last for a day. But most of them are very supportive and considerate not to eat around you even though you don’t mind.  So if they can respect how we practice our religion, why can’t we respect theirs?

To all my ‘cina’ friend and non muslims friends, thank you for understanding 🙂