Living with your parents

A conversation with an old friend who quit their job & came back from abroad to be with their children. unfortunately, my friend couldn’t get a job as the gov is freezing jobs in the field of her expertise.
Now my friend lives with her parents (And thats okay) while her husband go to work
A few other siblings also move back in, some was retrenched & move back to Malaysia (though manage to get a job while the other stays at home to look after their children & online business)
Some quit their job and looking for other job that fits his soul more. He can design an oil rig & develop an app where you can buy & locate the nearest shop locally & internationally on the item you are looking for which was shortlisted in a competition but only manage to get to the finals..also moves back with their parents
although my friend is stay at home mom right now, she’s happy to be able to take care of her children because back when she worked abroad and her husband in Malaysia, her children don’t recognize her as they don’t get to meet often during her early years of growing up. (and i think its the right choice to be with her family though it means she have to sacrifice her job for her family)
she says, only now..money is tight. but that’s okay. she says, a lot of her friends she know is also living with their parents and seeing the trend, her parents predicts that more children will move back in or stay with their parents.
I can’t write too detail but the point of the conversation was that
1) even if you have a great degree it doesn’t promise you to get a job – or stay in one – you might get retrenched, you might have to quit your job. getting a degree doesn’t mean we will be getting a job, or we will be stuck as ‘job seeker’ mindset than ‘job creator’ . its what you do with the knowledge & experience that counts. the job market is changing as the economy goes down. our resilience as my mom said, and ability to create our own job will help us get through the hard times.
2) its okay to live with your parents, as long as you help to contribute in the family. even if you are married with kids, there’s nothing to be ashamed of as people in the days used to live with their parents or close to one another. its also how a community built upon because when you are in the same house, you will look after one another and take care of each other. aging parents especially need more attention so grandchildren also helps to bring families closer as they bring the laughter and joy in the house.
although development is good for the economy, its also bad for family as children who is now adult, move out from the house with no one to look after their kids. strangers taking care of their kids – with this whole child abuse in nursery- and other social problems.
so when the economic bubble starts to burst and economy collapsing, so will families if they do not get support from their own family. hence why, we see some children moving back with their parents – which in a way is good for the community to be rebuilt again.
people will either be forced to or voluntarily look after one another and work out their differences.
this reminds me of a conversation i had when i was in capetown last year,
“when we leave our heritage & culture, things becomes expensive. but when we continue our heritage & relive the culture, it becomes less”
meaning that, if we continue to leave our heritage & culture – we lead an individualistic life – – you have to rely on your own to feed your own mouth. – you need to hire a babysitter to look after your kids – and soon enough you have to work 2-3 jobs to feed your family but don’t have time for your own family.
but if we bring back the culture of taking care of one another – and think of how we can help one another and feed our family & community around us. our culture taught us about taking care of one another, within our own community. When we have to go somewhere far, we ask our relatives to look after our kids – even if we are at home & your kids loitering around somewhere they shouldn’t – they will alert you and look out for your kids. When we have more – we give to our neighbors (which used to be our relatives as well), when we need certain plants, we ask our neighbors if we could have some of theirs & in return we give them some of the food we cook that day to thank them. Or when the car breaks down, or the toilet pump broke – we call our friends who knows how to fix it rather than the shop.
maybe, just maybe our burden becomes less – with shared resources – a helping hand & eventually become a better person towards our family, friends and the community we live in. the most expensive currency nowadays is not money – but built on trust . and this cannot be done without having faith & believing in one another. it takes it takes a good heart & sincere intention of those who believes the same thing – making the world a better place to live in as a family.
because at the end of the day, we are all living on the same earth…
(…..and Mars will takes years or never – before we can still be alive to move there)
*so look around and see who else we can help, stop looking only ourselves rather look for those around us who might need our help but too shy to ask for one.
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30!

Turning 30 was easier than i expected (although i was rather anxious the day before. Haha) but waking up like its just another day, dont make me feel any different about it. I kinda like my age right now, the number is ‘even’ now haha! 
Just a little tip, whenever you turn older, go meet someone older than you and ask them about their experience in life haha! For some reason, i felt a bit calmer when i hear about other peoples experience in achieving their life, the choices they make, the things they do, and how they started their career and reach where they are now, makes you feel like we have more to look forward to than the things that is holding us back in the past. Hehe thanks you know who you are 😉
My life has been a long detours and rollercoaster ride, thanks to all my ups and downs, pauses and stops ive had to face for the past 30 years, that brought me to where i am. Who i am today were because of the past experience i go through, our experiences and mistakes in life is preparing us to be who we are today. And at least, other than a lesson learned, some made into a good story i sometimes share with selected few and had a good laugh of the things that happened in the past. My life have become more interesting thanks to it!
Alhamdulillah for the past 30 years, and insyAllah to the years to come. May Allah swt continue to give us more time to learn and become a better person everyday and contribute back to people around us for as long as Allah swt have written for us. Thank you again for the wishes and prayers, may Allah swt grant your prayers and reward you with what is best for you too! 
And alhamdulillah to everyone who came into my life, whether or not they stay or not, thank you for being part of the chapters in my life. It has been a wonderful journey and i look forward for whatever lesson and experience that has been written for me! To reach 30 years old is also rezeki. Okayyyy….😉

  

Regrets

A friend of mine said
“I waste so much things on the little things, good friends that could have make a difference in my life , and being too caught up with what other people would think of me instead of what I want to do in life…but despite all, all the mistakes I have done, I don’t want to regret any of it and accept it as they are because it wouldn’t have made me into the person I am today”
this sums up everything I don’t regret !
I really do wish that I would have done more to save certain relationship (not necessarily love) , but friends whom i unfriended because of our differences, or remove from my life due to personal reasons etc.
But then again, if i didn’t do that, i would not realize all the people who really cared about me and loved me for who i am. Some, came back to make up for the mistakes they have done towards me, only for me to realize that i miss them as a friend more than i used to hate them back then.
Some I initiated to make it up to them(im not a perfect either!) due to certain issues we had back then , some despite driving them mad every now and then..slowly grow our friendship to the ‘mature friendship’ , while some friends that I never expect would turn into very good friends , whom i would pass by without making any effort to get to know more, cross path with mine again and turn out to be wonderful friends.
And its also funny that some, we hated each other for who we thought we were until we somehow we were thrown in the same boat (metaphorically) and had to depend on each other to keep our boats going until we reach our destination.
So, it taught me that sometimes, all we need to do is give that person a chance by getting to know them a little bit better and then decide whether or not this is the kind of friends or people we want to continue to be friends with because its really important to choose who we surround ourselves with.
Because sometimes, we will also attract negative friends and we need to be very careful not to mistake friendship with ‘friends with benefits’. So when we remove the negative people around us, we can then make room for positive people to come into our life. But, sometimes the negative people is good for us too, because you learn how to deal with difficult people and you learn how to be a better communicator or PR for instant.
But, what i learn most of all is that, if we can’t find a good friend, be one! Because eventually, we will attract the right kind of friends, and as we grow, we don’t really need a lot of friends, only those whom we can count on, those we know would be there for us, and those whom we don’t really have to contact with all the time, but when we do, we could just pick it up where we left off…and just be ourselves.
So yeah, regrets only comes when we tend to think of the things we could have done better, or people who is no longer in our life that is not meant to stay, and stuffs that we wish we could have but maybe, just maybe we are better off without the things we want, but appreciates whatever we already have , is what we need.
I remember watching a video on a story about a poor man who was very happy to dip his biscuit in a river and shout “Alhamdulillah for this!”, as the King pass by he was amazed how happy he was to have only a biscuit and dipping it in the river before eating it with such gratitude. And so the King asked what is the secret behind his happiness.
So the poor man said, “My King, would you give half of your Kingdom if you were thirsty but that is the price you have to pay when there is nothing in the world except half of your Kingdom to pay for a glass of water?”
The King replied “I would have given all of my Kingdom if I have to!”
And the poor man replies “So why should I not be grateful for the One who provides me this biscuits is the King of the Kings? Allah swt who owns all the wealth in this world?”
Then there was another story of how this person in Rasulullah SAW time, who came up to the Prophet SAW to ask him to make dua for him to be rich! Reluctantly beloved Prophet SAW replied
“The little you have, if you are thankful, is better than the abundance you have but you cannot carry it”
For three times, the Prophet SAW replied the same thing when the person insists that he makes dua for him. Finally, the Prophet SAW gave in, and made dua for that person to be rich. And so that person’s wealth multiplied, his sheeps doubled and tripled to a point where he have to take out Zakat from the excess wealth he have to be distributed for those in need. Zakat is an obligatory to give out for muslims who have excess wealth and income according to Islam teachings. But this person refused to give out to a point he makes excuses not to pay zakat and find ways to avoid from giving out his wealth.
Finally, Prophet SAW stops asking him to pay zakat due to an ayat from Allah swt about this person.
And this person wealth continues to multiply to a point he cannot manage it anymore and he wanted to give it away as zakat. By then, he was missing his prayers and all the things a practicing muslim should do because he was too busy with his business. Since that Allah swt warns the Prophet SAW not to accept any zakat from this person in the future, this person never get to give his zakat and his sheeps and other livestock continues to multiply that he have no space to keep it to himself. Even until the Caliphate times up till Caliph Uthman bin Affan time, this person died without being able to give out zakat. Only Allah swt knows what is his fate in the afterlife.
So coming back to what Prophet SAW said,
“The little you have, if you are thankful, is better than the abundance you have but you cannot carry it”
Try not to see what others have as something that you envy not having, because every one of us are made for different purpose and given rizq in many forms and ways. To have good friends we can count on…while others are alone when they needed one…is rizq, to have parents who is still alive while others wish they still have one of them…..is rizq, to have a home while others may not even have a roof…is rizq, to live in peace while others risk their life trying to live another day ….is rizq., to be able to breathe..while others rely on oxygen tank… is rizq, to be able to eat, chew, and enjoy our food while others may not even know if this is their last meal…is rizq, to have a good working body and healthy while others might be hospitalized….is also a blessing …but most of all..the greatest gift we all have…is to be alive…and still be given a chance to do something about our life…is rizq from the Most Generous and The Giver, the King of the Kings!
“So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?” (Ar Rahman, 55:33)

Calling someone thin is as offensive as calling people fat

For someone who is thin, I find it rather offensive sometimes when people point out how thin I am. Its not like I was hurt by it, but I feel uncomfortable when people keep saying how thin I am as if there’s something wrong with me.

I am perfectly happy with my body, and have no problem with it. I am happy that I dont have to worry about gaining weight, though i do try to eat healthily.

I am not on diet, I dont have anorexia, I am just thin. That’s all. Everyone were born with their own size & body shape, but so can we just stop stereotyping on each other?
Just because no one is saying anything about it doesn’t mean its okay to say that to a person who is not your kind of ‘normal’. What’s normal to you may not be normal to others. And ‘normalizing’ this isn’t going to stop people from saying stuffs at you, so speak up and tell people that its not okay. 

A year in 2016

I was looking at fb a year in review, and thanks to the memories function we were constantly reminded of the things we do in the past few year. Some was good, some wasnt, some was happy memories, some was sad. But life goes on. With pr without you. It does. 
I must say, taking a break – a gap year – whatever you want to call it. Has been a journey within that ive been fortunate to explore on. It wasnt easy to resist that feeling like i was somewhat left behind from the rest of my friends who has probably have a decent job, family and children of their own. 
All the things that i thought i would be doing by 30 turned upside down and im still figuring out my life was. I made the decision and stick to it, i dont want to look back for the life i choose not to continue my life as. Refusing to participate from such competition, probably the best choice ive made, i wasnt a ‘good runner’ anyway, so i always needed that short breaks and get distracted by the flowers and things along the way. 
Even if i were to go for a hiking, i would need a month or so to build up my stamina before i actually go on a hike. But im glad that at every hike i made (well three sorta), i can always find some friends to go with together. If the previous year, i learnt how to wall climb, and learn to ‘fall’, this year was probably about hiking my way up. God knows, how long it will take me to get there. But i hope when i do, i still have some friends with me to enjoy the view and family to go home to.
Which brings me to the part where this is the year, where you learn that as long as you have a family and a few good friends you to support you, everything else is secondary. Even the opinions of negative people wont matter much to you. Because you also realize that peace is better than trying to prove yourself right (even if you are right, you might still be wrong for others) Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but its up to us to accept these opinions. Unless we allow ourselves to be effected by whatever people think of you, then we will always be their prisoner. Still, words do hurt. So choose your word wisely.
Every year, we will either lose friends or gain friends, and sometimes we would bump into them, saying hi and go on separate ways without keeping in touch with each other. And its okay to not want these people back into our life. It wouldnt work out anyway if we kept them in our life. We dont have to hold grudge or anything, just simply let go and be happy for each others life. Some things arent meant to be, friends can also break your heart, but you dont have to break theirs by being mean etc. Being nice is rare nowadays, be that person because some day, someone nice will come along and treat you like you deserve. 
This year, i decided to share a little bit of my writings, it was rather scary at first since like everyone else, theres a lot of fears and doubts along the way that i had to battled with. But, im glad to see the response i get from some of you who have been supporting me (including my own family). Honestly it took me years to gather this courage to write down what i feel instead of keeping it away in a private blog or not at all. And a lot of grammatical error haha! So, i learn that, sometimes you cant keep on hiding what you have always enjoyed doing or naturally do, because it will show up sooner or later. I dont consider myself talented, as imposter-syndrome would crept up, but my point is, there will come a point in our life where you have to share that talent of yours and the things you are good at, because someone might be looking for the skill and knowledge you have from places or people you will never expect. Who knows, it might be that dream job you have always wanted but never thought could come true. Or at least do it for your own personal goals. To be better than you were yesterday is at least the competition you can win every day. But dont be too hard in yourself that you start to put too much pressure on yourself and your own crazy expectations that you forgot about what really matters in life. You!
No one really know where they are going, or figure out what they gonna do right away. So its okay to not have everything figure out, life is a constant change, everything is temporary even your bad days. Learn to see the good in everything around us and be happy with whatever comes. Be happy, be sad, be angry, be weird, be who you are because we are human beings. Feel every emotions, embrace your shortcomings, acknowledge your worth, value yourself and love who you are. Its okay to not be okay but its not okay, to pretend that everythings okay. Get help, get a friend, get your parents , and reach out to those you are most comfortable to confide what troubles you. And if you cant find any of them, you can always turn within and find God. Because its in these moments that you are most vulnerable and need strength from God to lend you these strength. When your empty, other things will fill up the space but nothing will ever suffice until we ask from The One who suffice us. Say, hasbunallahwanikmalwakil (Allah swt is enough for me). 
And as the matter of heart goes, i am content that i should cherish my single life because there will be no other time than now where i am happy to be at, though does not mean i hate marriage (i was raised by a very strong married couple whose reading this post lol!) What i mean to say is that, im using this time to focus on my own self development and life as it is. Just keep on praying for what is best for me, and insyAllah, whoever written for me will arrive when the time is right . But until then, im just gonna chill and enjoy this journey. 
Alhamdulillah for this year. Insyallah for next year. May Allah swt bless all of you with whatever best for all of us. Amin.

Mencari Melayu di Capetown (bahagian 3: Makanan )

Sepanjang berada di Capetown, saya banyak mendapat undangan makan ke rumah orang Melayu disini yang sangat berminat duntuk mengetahui budaya orang Melayu dari kepulauan Melayu khususnya Malaysia dan Indonesia. Hal ini kerana, tidak ramai orang Melayu disini yang dapat melawat tanah asal datuk dan moyang mereka. Oleh itu, setiap kali ada orang Melayu yang datang ke Capetown, host saya,Abdullah Waggie akan menjemput datang ke rumahnya. Abdullah sendiri sejak kecil akan menjemput ramai orang Melayu ke rumah ayahnya semasa kecil. Ayahnya, sentiasa akan membawa pelaut yang datang dari Nusantara untuk tinggal dan makan dirumahnya sebelum meneruskan pelayaran mereka. Ada kisah yang menarik mengenai Abdullah yang akan saya kongsi di post yang akan datang.

(Throughout my stay in Capetown, I was invited to a lot of Malay house here who is interested to know about the Malay culture from the Malay archipelagos especially Malaysia & Indonesia. Since that many Malays here do not get much chance or afford to revisit their ancestors homeland, so every time there is Malays who visits Capetown, my host will welcome to his home. Since he was young , his father’s will ask him to invite the Malay sailors to his house and stay for a few days before they continue their sail. There is an interesting story about Abdullah that I will share in my upcoming post.)

Untuk post kali ini, saya akan berkongsi mengenai makanan orang Melayu disini. Anda mungkin tertanya-tanya apakah makanan Melayu yang masih dimakan oleh orang Melayu disini?  Seperti yang saya ceritakan di bahagian 2, makanan orang Melayu telah banyak disesuaikan dengan cita rasa ‘Tuan’ mereka semasa bekerja sebagai tukang masak di rumah penjajah Belanda dan British. Oleh itu, walaupun nama masakan mungkin Melayu, namun rasanya agak berbeza dari yang kita biasa makan.

(For this post, I would like to share about the Malay food’s here. You might be wondering whether the Malays here still eats Malay food like us? As I mentioned previously in part 2, the Malays food have been modified to suit the taste of their ‘Masters’ while working as a cook in the colonial house like Dutch and British. Therefore, even though the name might sound Malay but the taste have slightly changed from we we normally have.)

Hal ini kerana, orang putih tidak makan makanan yang terlalu pedas, jadi banyak bahan dalam masakan digantikan dengan bahan yang masam atau manis. Antara beberapa jenis masakan yang sempat saya rasa ialah

(This is because, the Whites don’t eat spicy food, so a lot of the ingredients have been replaced with sour or sweet ingredient. Among the type of food that I had the chance to taste was:)

Blantjang (Belacan), ia dibuat daripada Jem Apricot, cili, dan cuka

 (Made of Apricot jam, chilli and vinegar.)

Sambal, cara membuatnya seakan sambal asam, iaitu bawang, tomato, timun dan cuka.

(the way they make it is like our sambal asam, which is, onions, tomato, cucumber and vinegar)

Koesister, rasanya seperti cakoi yang diadun bersama serbu kayu manis, dan disalut air gula sebelum ditabur dengan kelapa parut. Koesister atau ‘kuih’ sister merupakan kuih yang sering dimakan oleh orang Melayu disini. Ia sering dihidangkan semasa hari ‘Lebarang’ @ hari Raya atau kenduri kahwin mahupun hari biasa terutamanya di hujung minggu dimana ramai ahli keluarga orang Melayu akan berkumpul dan melawat keluarga mereka.

(…it taste like cakoi mixed with cinnamon powder  and glazed with melted sugar before it is sprinkled with coconut. Koesister or ‘kuih’ sister is a delicacies that the Malays normally eats here. It is served during ‘Lebarang’ @ hari raya (Eid) or during weddings and even in normal day usually on the weekends where many of the Malays families gets together and visits their family.) 

Frikkadel  tidak ubah seperti bergedil, sama ada bergedil daging, atau ikan yang dicampur dengan sedikit tepung.

(…it taste almost like bergedil, either minced meat bergedil or fish with a mix of flour)

Roti, rasanya seperti Roti Canai yang tebal dan besar, tetapi mereka tidak makan dengan kuah dhal. Selain nasi, orang Melayu disini kebanyakkannya makan roti dan jagung sebagai ganti kerana ia adalah makanan yang paling murah dan banyak didapati di sini.

(…tastes like Roti Canai but slightly thick and bigger, but they don’t eat it with Dhal. Other than rice, the Malays here normally have bread or maize to replace rice because it is the cheapest food that is easily available here) 

Penangkerrie , atau Kari Penang juga salah satu masakan orang Melayu disini. Saya masih belum berpeluang merasakan masakan ini tetapi ada membaca bahawa mereka memasukkan cuka di dalam masakan, mungkinkah untuk menggantikan asam jawa? Namun, saya sempat merasakan kari ayam yang tidak ubah seperti kari ayam di Malaysia.

(..or Penang curry is also one of the Malay food here. I still haven’t got the chance to taste this dish but I did read that they put vinegar in their curry, perhaps to substitute the Asam Jawa? However, I did get to taste the chicken curry that taste like the one’s in Malaysia.) 

‘Yellow rice’ atau Nasi kuning seakan pulut kuning tetapi diganti dengan nasi. Rasanya manis dan agak basah. Kebanyakan nasi di sini memang manis-manis yang dicampur dengan rempah ratus.

(…is like the Pulut Kuning but replaced with rice. It taste sweet and moist.  Most of the rice here is a little bit sweet and mixed with spices.)

Achney , rasanya seperti nasi daging,  dan cara membuatnya juga menggunakan nasi dan daging serta rempah.

(…tastes like Nasi Daging, and the way they make it also uses rice and meat with a bit of spice.)

 

Samoosa, orang Melayu disini juga gemar membuat Samosa, ia akan dicicah bersama Blantjang.

(..the Malays here also loves to make Samosa, it is dipped with Blantjang.)

Falooda, ia tidak ubah seperti air bandung yang dicampur dengan sagu, dan sedikit aiskrim. Saya sempat merasakannya semasa kenduri kahwin orang Melayu disini. Oleh kerana perkahwinan campur antara orang Melayu dengan orang India, maka ada juga masakan orang Melayu dipengaruhi oleh masakan India seperti Falooda.

(..taste very much like the Air Bandung, with a bit of Sago and ice cream. I had the chance to taste this drink during a Malay wedding here. Because of the inter-marriage between the Malays and the Indians, so some of the food here have also been influenced by Indian cooking like the Falooda.)

 Kebanyakan rumah orang Melayu disini akan menghidangkan air gas atau jus buah kepada tetamunya selain air teh. Jika berkesempatan datang, cubalah teh Rooibos yang merupakan teh yang ditanam di Capetown.

(Most of the Malay houses here will serve carbonated drink or fruit juice to their guests other than tea. If you have the chance to come, do try their Rooibos tea which they grow in Capetown.)

 

Boentjies (Buncis), masakan ini selalunya dimakan semasa hari pengebumian orang Melayu, ia dibuat daripada kacang merah @ ‘bake beans’, kentang , dan daging kambing atau daging lembu. Menurut host, masakan ini semakin jarang dihidang oleh orang Melayu masa kini dan diganti dengan briyani atau Achney, sandwich dan sebagainya. Namun, beliau menceritakan bahawa terdapat banyak khasiat disebalik masakan ini kerana apabila seseorang muslim itu meninggal, bukan sahaja keluarga yang bersedih akan kematian ahli keluarganya, bahkan komuniti disekeliling keluarga itu yang turut bersedih (jiran tetangga, sahabat handai dsb)

(…this cooking are usually eaten during Malay funerals, it is made of bake beans, potato, lamb or beef meat. According to my host, this dish are now hardly served by the Malays here and replaced with briyani or Achney, sandwiches etc. But, he told me that there’s a lot of benefits behind this cooking because when a muslim pass away, its not just the family who will be grieving but also the community around him also grieves with them (neighbours, friends etc) ) 

Oleh itu, untuk  membawa keluar keluarga tersebut dari kesedihan, penawar yang paling baik ialah melalui makanan. Beliau menyebut tentang hadis Nabi SAW yang mengalakkan umat Islam untuk memberi makan keluarga yang sedang berkabung. Makanan berbentuk kekacang amat bagus untuk menghilangkan rasa ‘depress’ dan sedih seperti Boentjie. Masakan yang dimakan semasa ‘janazah’ atau pengebumian dinamakan ‘Kifayat Kos’, biasanya berasaskan Ertjie (lobak merah), Woraltjie (kacang pea), dan Boentjie (kacang). ‘Jie’ disebut ‘chi’ (kechik) kerana apa saja yang kecil akan ditambah ‘jie’ dibelakang.  Ertjie dan Woraltjie pula dicampur bersama dengan nasi.

(Therefore, to bring out the family from sadness, the best cure is through food. He mentions a hadith from Prophet Muhammas SAW that encourages the muslims to give food when a family is grieving. Food in the form of nuts is good to overcome ‘depression’ and sadness like the Boentjie. Food’s served during funeral or ‘janazah’ are called’ kifayat kos’ and normally based on carrots, peas, and baked beans. Jie is pronounced as ‘chi’ (kechik) because anything that is added ‘Jie’ at the back means ‘small’. Ertjie and woraltjie is mixed with rice.)

Ini menunjukkan bahawa orang Melayu masa dahulu amat arif tentang penggunaan makanan dan kaitannya dengan kesihatan kerana di dalam Islam sendiri ada menyebut tentang jenis jenis makanan yang baik untuk kesihatan. Contohnya, jika sedang minum, kita perlu duduk kerana ia bagus untuk buah pinggang kerana buah pinggang akan memproses air dan menghilangkan dahaga. Tetapi jika kita minum sambil berdiri, air tidak dapat disalurkan ke buah pinggang dan terus ke pundi kencing. Beliau turut membaca satu kajian dari Amerika yang mendapati bahwa makanan berbentuk kekacang boleh membantu mengurangkan ‘depression’.

(This shows that the Malays are very knowledgeable in the use of food and its relation with the health because in Islam itself mentions the type of foods that is good for our health. For example, when we drink, we need to sit down because it is good for the kidney. Because, the kidney will proces the water and quench our thirst. But, if we drink when we are standing, the water cannot reach the the kidney but goes straight to the bladder system. He also read a research from America that founds the nuts to be able to help reduce depression.)

Jadi beliau berharap orang Melayu disini dapat kembali mengamalkan masakan ‘Kifayat Kos’ kerana ia baik untuk kesihatan. Dan dapat membantu keluarga yang sedang berkabung untuk keluar dari kesedihan.

(So, he hope that the Malays here can go back to practicing the ‘Kifayat Kos’ as it is beneficial for their health and helps the grieving family to overcome their sadness.)

 

Down memory lane.

Umconvome

found a photo of Um during her Phd graduation and then there’s me years later. for my Master graduation. Um received her Phd with 5 kids, and I vividly remember some of her work involving recording countless of tape of our neighbour who used to teach in USM because she have a beautiful voice. During her time, she told me, she had to go to ‘google’ the library one by one, books by book, while I have everything on my finger tips (literally). Way before that her Master thesis would be using typewriter. So I guess the current generation are quite lucky that we don’t have to go through that. Our struggle may be different but the journey is almost the same with different level of patience, motivation and dedication haha. During her Master, she will make sure she finish off everything she needs at the university and focus on us siblings at home (If im not mistaken, Abi was in Malaysia doing his Phd in UKM). So she can only get her PhD way after we are already in our high school. Mom always wanted to be a lecturer since she was in school, but started off as a teacher first, then Maktab lecturer before she was accepted to teach here. Her journey to arrive where she is now started years and years before. I started my study year here in USM back 2006, as a Communication student before majoring in Broadcasting. It was my father’s idea that I take Communication and asked me to go to one of the classes first before i make my decision. I sneaked in one of the lecturer’s class, at the time, it was Dr Zain’s from PR class. I enjoyed it and agreed. I didn’t know much about communication but I tried anyway. By the second year, I chose Broadcasting because it was in between Journalism and Filming. My initial interest was PR but a ‘friend’ convinced me that I am ‘not good enough’ and I believed that I wasn’t. So I chose broadcasting, which is probably the best decision even if I don’t become a film director etc. Because of that choice, I was selected to go for a semester for my exchange in University College Cork, Ireland in European & Post Modern European Cinema. I extended my studies after returning from my exchange programme for a year, also because of an operation due to a sinusitis infection and finally graduated in 2010. When the rest of my friends have graduated and started working, I continued my Master, again after my dad suggested that I could do a research on Dinar Dirham. I made my pre-research before the actual research to see if its ‘researchable’ and refocused it into Community Currency ,by using Gold Dinar Silver Dirham as a case study. It took almost a year to finally know where my research focus on, I changed from Quantitative to Qualitative, changed the location of my study from USM to a market in KL that was using dinar dirham as part of their transaction. And after much procrastination and rollercoasters of motivation and emotional struggle, I finally graduated. I never realize how happy I was until I saw my picture taken by others. In my study year, most of my choice have been influenced by my parents particularly my Abi. But knowing that parents see what their children could be or potentially become. I learn to believe in myself the way others believed in me. That was what I try to remind myself every time I feel like giving up because like any other growing up ‘teenager’ , i didn’t feel that I was good enough. There will always be this voice that keeps you from moving forward. It took me years to realize that I am good enough and started to believe in my own ability. I never tell my parents though about this, but I am lucky that they have always believed in every one of us (siblings). When I did my degree, my father was ‘convinced’ that I will be a scriptwriter or a filmmaker, even if i didn’t lol. When i did my master, he continued to believe in me. Honestly, when my mother asked me what was the reason behind me wanting to give up back then, I realize it was for one thing, believe. I didn’t believe enough that I could do just about anything in the world once I put my mind on it. And when I did, and asked for help from others (which is one of my problem as well, because i also thought that i have to carry this research on my own, instead research is ‘teamwork’ : family and friends support, your supervisor guidance and even the staffs etc)…so i asked for help, from the One who is the Most Helpful, and all the help in the world was given to me that all I can do is thank Allah swt for blessing me with all the people in my world. There was even strangers who helped me to believe again, like the cleaner who talked about his late son who would have been studying in USM but passed away before he could even enrol to USM. And other people who keep on cheering on me, that i started to see how important is a support system. That even if i have graduated, i continued to return the support i receive from others to other people who have not graduated, because i know how it feels to hit rock bottom and struggling to climb out. Remembering that one friend who ‘convinced’ me that I was ‘not good enough’, I thank her the most because it lead me to where I am now. Its a self discovery process but I learn not to listen to what people say and ignore all the negativity or negative people that keeps on bringing me down. I’m not saying that I am immune from hurtful words, but at least i know that i have the power not to allow myself to accept people’s word blindly without evaluating whether or not its true. Now that i have graduated, I am still in the process of sorting my life out, and because of that, I am currently on my gap year or a break (a rare choice here but not in other parts of the world). I worked before this but decided to quit for my own reason and didn’t regret it. Most of the time, helping my parents, some little volunteer research and other times,spend my own time with friends or on my own. But at least, I am happy that I get a chance to spend more time with my family and figure out what i want to do next because i didn’t have much time to reflect about myself and where I want to go from here. Everything was about completing my study but never asked myself what I really want to do and happiest doing it. Perhaps, my delay is His blessings in disguise for it lead me to where I am now. InsyAllah , all will be revealed in good time. Thanks to my parents for understanding and their support. I could never have done it without them 🙂