Rezeki kita, Allah swt simpan kemudian untuk beri diwaktu yang tepat.
Lambat sikit, supaya kita belajar sabar dan bersyukur apa yg kita ada.
Lambat sikit, supaya kita perbaiki khilaf kita.
Lambat sikit tapi tak pernah salah alamat.
Jangan salahkan ‘posmen’ lambat, sampai masa, akan tiba juga ‘sampul kiriman’Nya
It was around this time of the year my mom talked about how she prefer to pass away. A hard conversation that started from Sharifah Aini passing away and how she live before. Um really admire her life story when she read about it and shared with me.
“I wish to go in good health so I don’t burden anyone ”
It was a pleasure serving you, Um. It was really easy to assist you through out your final days. I enjoyed every moment even if I had to wake up early to get you ready. I even miss my daily routine with you because I get a chance to be with you, talk to you all night until you fall asleep. I’d watch your face like a mother looking at her child. Even if I can only take care of you at night till noon before the rest of my siblings takes over. I am happy to be part of taking care of you. No matter how tired I was, it’s a joy to serve you. A job I’d never exchange with anyone had I knew it’s going to be my last service for you. Allah swt prepared me to be redha through it, so which of His favor do I deny? I’ve always wanted to serve you when you grow old, and I’m thankful that you chose me to take care of you at night. Alhamdulillah. You were a very good patient that it’s a joy to treat you with special care.
One time, I had to put extra effort to pull you up the bed so you are more comfortable.
You tell me
“You are a strong girl!”
I replied…
“Because I was born and raised by a stronger women! 😉”
Alhamdulillah for the opportunity. Certainly I will treasure every moment we had. Only Allah swt can reward every deeds and mercy towards us for raising us and taking care of us. Other siblings too played a lot of role in helping our Mother so we can each take turn to rest. Um was really understanding towards everyone no matter what, she loves us all the same even though we express our love differently.
Return O beloved to the Most Beloved, you are much loved here in this world and Hereafter. And Allah swt made sure we know that by the way you return to Allah swt in the best state possible. SubhanAllah.
Kasih Ibu membawa ke syurga, Kasih Ayah kekal selamanya.
Terima kasih Maktok bagi kami kekuatan, dan Abi beri kami semangat.
InsyAllah kami akan teruskan perjuangan Um dan contohi nilai serta budi pekerti yang telah Um ‘wariskan’ kepada kami.
Nukilan Abg Ngah
***
Maktok dengan bunga.
Bunga Orkid favorite Maktok
Lebih kurang 10 hari sebelum pemergian Um. Maktok ada bermimpi tentang Um.
Pada mulanya Maktok hanya bgtau Maktok ok, Maktok tenang, Maktok mimpi Um pengakhiran yg baik.
Setelah pemergian Um baru lah Maktok cerita kan lebih lanjut tentang mimpinya.
Maktok berada di kawasan yg lapang dan tanah yang gersang.
Maktok nampak sekuntum bunga yg sangat cantik.
Bila dipetik bunga tersebut dengan serta merta tumbuh banyak bunga di kawasan itu sehingga penuh.
Maktok merasakan perasan yg tenang sekali. Kami pada mulanya risau kan maktok takut terkejut. Tetapi Allah Maha Mengasihi.
Syukur ya Allah.
Semoga kita semua dpt Khusnul Khotimah.
Sambil tunggu kawan datang dalam hati terdetik:
“Laparnya… Alangkah sedapnya kalau dapat makan nasi kejap lagi”
“Dik! Mai makan nasi tepi masjid ni ada org sedekah! ”
Subhanallah! Lajunya doa, rezeki sampai depan mata.
Alhamdulillah untuk rezeki hari ini
***
Jangan pernah berhenti berdoa, cepat atau lambat, akan tiba pada masa yang tepat dan terbaik untuk kita. InsyAllah.
“Kahwin itu rezeki, tak kahwin pun rezeki.Jodoh di akhirat, jika jumpa di dunia adalah bonus dan perlu dijaga agar sampai ke syurga bukan sebaliknya” – M. E, 2019
Rezeki jaga mak bapa bila tua buat kita bersyukur ada masa untuk mereka. Tak, saya tak sedih, sebaliknya gembira dengan peluang yg diberi.
Bila ‘reflect’ semula pilihan hidup kita, menolak tawaran kerja di bandar, memilih untuk kerja dgn mak bapa @ jadi PA mereka. Susunan Allah swt cukup cantik sekali.
Buat mereka yg seangkatan, hargailah rezeki yg diberi. Dalam ramai2, kita terpilih, tentu ada sebabnya.
Belajarlah ikhlaskan hati, pecahkan ego, dan terus berkhidmat kerana Dia.
Menjaga Um sangat mudah, bila kita mudahkan ibu bapa kita, Allah swt akan permudahkan hidup kita. Sebab tu, saya tak pernah rasa susah, penat wpun ambil masa untuk siapkan Um sepanjang menjaganya.
Pengalaman menjaga di hospital saya anggap pengalaman baru, dan belajar kemahiran baru, nurse bnyk membantu ajar teknik tertentu untuk memudahkan saya menyiapkan Ibu saya.
Apabila Um dimasukkan ke ICU selepas 3 minggu di wad biasa, saya anggap Allah swt hendak beri kami sekeluarga masa utk berehat sebab kami cuma boleh melawat masa waktu lawatan.
Sekali lagi, aturan Allah swt adalah yg terbaik, Dia beri masa untuk kita rehat wpun bermakna kami perlu simpan rasa rindu setiap hari.
Bak kata Abi, kami terharu dan insaf, dengan kebesaranNya. Hanya mampu mengucapkan Alhamdulillah untuk setiap yg berlaku. InsyAllah, Allah swt jaga wpun kami tidak dapat berjumpa lama.
There’s a patient next to Um who had bowel operation. An old chinese lady would stand by him and smile happily to us. Her presence always makes me calm and happy as we both go through the same journey.
One thing I notice about being at ICU, we do not have a form of support group so that families don’t feel alone and often felt helpless.
Therefore, whenever I see a family member seem like breaking down, I will smile happily just like the old lady, give a little hug if its okay for her, and just talk so that they feel better.
Smiling changes everything, by bringing positive vibes we attract good vibes. This is important not just for the patient but for the family and friends who come to visit so that we do not treat sickness as something permanent.
Pain is temporary, as Allah promise, for every difficulty there is a way out. Sadness is from Allah swt as much as Happiness. Therefore we must embrace all feelings and acknowledge that we are afterall human being.
As long as it is followed by the remembrance of Allah swt, even pain can taste bittersweet.
Hope is a powerful feeling only those who understand that everything is within Allah swt permission, God willing, dengan izin Allah swt even the impossible is possible with the help of Allah swt.. The Healer, The Giver, and The Nurturer.
InsyAllah, even a single bacteria in our body is Allah swt creation.
So, do not despair for Allah swt loves those who asks. Keep asking, and praying for my mom’s recovery and also for our own recovery.
May Allah swt accept the doa of those who has been praying for my mom all this while and multiply the reward for each one of you. Amin
