“What do you do?”

I think the kindest word is when a stranger whom i met only at an interview and met again when i quit my job is this…”Sakiinah, you have so much talent…and lots of potential, i am sure even though you choose to quit here, one day you will find the career that will make full use of your talent and be happy about”
For some reason he made me feel that its okay to quit something that does not make me happy (though there are some parts of it that im happy about )
eg, i get to know new friends, i get to meet some of my friends in kl often, and i get to try new food places with nice kuih or bihun to grrab every morning, or i get to be in the nature whenever i feel stressed & i get to learn how to be a project leader – something i only step up when i do my group assignments but never professionally, and get to learn about the working life, managing my finance, also being entrusted by a very challenging boss and yet learn so much from her in a short time
It seems like you are only respected when you have a job, and that being unemployed seemed like you are not doing anything useful. But talking to some of those who is going through the same thing, even though i dont have that 9-5 job where i can tell people where i work in. I would like to assure you, that you are no less than anyone else out there, and it is not because you are not good enough but the economy is not so good to hire qualified , talented, person like you. 
What i am doing right now is taking a few steps back to figure out what kind of job i can create for myself to make use of my experiences. To be content with what i already have, to be happy with things the way they are. 
Sure, i may not have a job, a house, a car and whatnot. But at least, im now debt free (eg no longer have ptptn to pay thanks to my previous job). At least i have some time to help my parents with some papers or workshops, taking photographs, and spend some time with the few friends i still have.
And meeting some of them is something i look forward to, the kind of friends who never judge me when i made certain choices in my life, those who assures me its okay to be different and be happy about it. 
So for those who havent found a job yet, create one, look inside you, think of what you can offer the world, become the person the child in you wish would be, and be that person. Success is a long road, celebrate the small success , and accomplishment you made for the years you worked on. 
A friend said to me, if you still have parents, you being there for them is a priviledged, because very few children gets to spend time with their aging parents. Being able to serve them is a priviledge. Rezeki bersama ibu bapa, is a luxury that very few can afford to spend time with.
And as for me, my ambition back then is to be so many job in a day. I wanted to be a police, doctor, nurse, teacher, all in one day not knowing that you only have 24 hour a day. 
So for those who is asking what is my job now? My answer today is, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a friend to people around me. Also, a part time blogger , who writes ocassionally… 😉

Time

The best gift to give….is time

The best way to heal…is time.
To a sick person, being healthy is what one hope to return to

To a person who once have parents to spend time with, would trade anything to go back to

To a person who once had arms or legs to use, wish that they can walk freely and do things by themselves 
But…
To an old person, who can no longer run like they used to, but walk, when holding a spoon is too heavy for them, when chewing takes longer than to swallow, when they can no longer go to the bathroom without someone to help them, thats when you know, our time is almost up. 
Time is precious, and yet , we sometime take for granted. 
All those time lost , we can never go back to, but for those who still have time, cherish it.

For time goes by in a blink of our eyes, before we know it, our time is up.
As the saying goes, leave the world better than we arrive, and return to tell the Creator, you did everything you can with the life we borrow from Him. And be happy with the rizq and path meant for us, for whatever is meant to be, is meant to be. 
Maktub. It is written

One day at a time….

One of the good friend i met recently, are now off the social media. In the beginning, she just deactivates now and then, but recently she deleted completely her social media accounts as she feels rather stressed out seeing peoples life posted on social media seems to be doing well (despite their own career seems to me pretty secure and earning well)
These friends i know way before they become successfull, and seeing how far they have climbed their career ladder made me feel proud and happy for them. No discussion on work are allowed except that how they are feeling since the last time we met. 
Its been a rough year for my friend (and maybe others too behind the carefully selected photos they share on social media). And so she felt that for her own good, it is better to be disconnect with social media and reconnect with herself and live her life one day at a time without any pressure from the things she sees on social media. Smilingly, i told her that its okay to take things slow and focus in her own self nourishment because self care is important or else you would get caught in the illusion that everyone is happy all the time (when in reality its not always sunny all the time) 
I myself sometimes do feel like riding on a bullet train, until one day i had to pull the emergency break and take a look at myself and people around me. Slowly, im trying to be content and happy with the little i have rather than what i dont have. Because, whatever i already have, is already enough for me. Family esp is everything i have, time with them, and being able to play with my nieces and nephew those sometimes i get tired from playing , also the very few good friends i have whom no matter how far ahead they are in their career life, never forget to look back and pull me up together whenever i feel down. There was also people who had nothing much to give, but still gives, if not just a piece of cake, chocolate, or ….time – by phone, by eating together – their presence always makes me happy and look forward to the next time we meet (though some took years to finally have time to see each other again). And yet, these are people who understands that everyone have their own life, and we dont have to see each other everyday…but next time…the see you when i see you kind of friends.
As for that friend, she says, she finds it very exiciting to know new things and updates about each others life in person rather than looking at their latest instagram photos or facebook posts etc. Because back when she was very plugged into the internet, she already know what we did last week, or eat a few hours ago. By the time they meet, there was nothing to talk about or just ‘like’ each others posts.
As for me i can be both connected and disconnected, but when i meet people, i try as much to put the phone away and focus on the entire conversation (except if its my parents calling me😅). I love learning new things, hence why i share a lot of videos or posts when im online, whereas when im offline, i share my recent ‘adventure’ in living my one day at a time life since i chose to free myself from a soul-crushing job. Maybe one day i will create my own job with the little experiences i collected along the way. But for now, im just going to enjoy my own journey. Its only after going through such a hectic life, i learn to appreciate the slow and steady life which others might see as normal – mediocre life – but happier life as i now have time for myself and the people around me.
I genuinely appreciate the very few people i can honestly talk to, and comfortable of sharing my feelings and thoughts. Thank you for reminding me that i still have my people when things gets rough, and pull me back to the shore when i start drifting. Thanks for checking up on me, i feel blessed! Alhamdulillah~ ^^
You know who you are 😉
  

Perks of being a forrester

A month ago, i had the chance to work with an institute involve with conservation of the forest. The offer came in without me expecting and with a twist of fate, I receive a call to ask if i’d be interested to come for an interview. Story cut short, here i was with a friend of mine who happen to go for the same interview as i was not sure if i was qualified for the job, and should i not qualify, perhaps my friend would be a better candidate?

It was just two friends trying their luck for a job we don’t know much until we actually start working there. Then, we were house hunting , while at the same time trying to juggle between getting our job done and trying to understand our job scope.

 

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All of the sudden we were in the middle of forest collecting baby trees for conservation at their nursery. Mixing compost and soil , planting the trees we collected in the poly bags, labeling and making inventories.

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We also learnt how to wrap the plants so that we can preserve it later for pressing and drying plants. Trees have soul, so even if you want to take it out from its home, we must have good intention and tell the trees that we are taking it for the benefit of people and plants that will grow in other area.So when we pull out the roots, we must quickly wrap with tissue and spray some water to keep it hydrated , and place it carefully inside a plastic bag until we arrive back to our conservation site. Since the hike can take up to few hours or days so the knowledge on how to wrap your plants collection the right way is important for any forester who goes for plants collection.

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Later on we moved to another site where we get to see Rafflesia where it only blooms only once a year for 7 days! Now the Rafflesia is quite a picky flower (with no leafs), since its a parasitic flower, so it relies on the Tetrastigma veins as their host.

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Tetrastigma host vine

And they need both male and female flower nearby to pollinate with the help of the animals to somehow plant the seeds to make a new Rafflesia for next year. Due to its nature, the Rafflesia doesn’t like humans to disturb them, so you cannot touch the flower but just admire the beauty of it.

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Me with Rafflesia, its already dying after they bloom

 

But then again, after giving myself some time with the work and all, the forest belongs to those who suits this side of the world. As much as i enjoyed learning some of the things they do, but my capabilities are better off in another world that I am more suitable to live in. Still, it was a wonderful short adventure and I thank them for the experience gained!

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That 30 things in life kind of post ;)

1) Take the time to talk to people around you, you never know they might need it.
2) Be interested of what other people is interested about, you might learn one or two from them.
3) Listen to understand …not…to reply, pause before you assume
4) Remove our expectations or we will always feel dissapointed when things doesn’t go our way, but His way.
5) Each person we encounter is an opportunity to learn something about them and about ourselves
6) How we treat ourselves is how others will treat us, be kind to yourself
7) We teach people how to treat us, be selective with who gets to stay 
8) Walk away from negative people, surround yourself with positive people who sees the best in you. 
9) Life is too short to be bothered by what other people think of you, they don’t pay your bills.
10) Spend time with little humans, nature and things that makes you human again. Being lonely and spending time alone is two different. 
11) Inner peace doesn’t necessarily means meditation, sometimes its as simple as taking a deep breath and let go.
12) Let go of things that is keeping you from moving forward, hate, grudges, and all the negativity will not help you become a better person. 
13) Choose to forgive and forget what people did to you, make peace with your past
14) Sleep early …or try getting enough sleep. 
15) Quit or reduce the junk food. 
16) Be open to know people outside your own field or circle. There’s always room for new friends, who knows , they might be your next best friend! 😉
17) See the good in everyone and everything that happens to you, even the bad experience can teach you something
18) If everything gets cancelled, celebrate the free time to spend it to yourself. You deserve a break even if it means spending time alone.
19) Try new things or new experience once a while, teach yourself something you always wanted to try doing but never had courage or time to try it. Invest in your own personal development. 
20) You don’t have to figure everything out, every day is another chance to try something different or nothing at all. Focus on the 24 hour you already have. 
21) Appreciate the small things in life, it adds up to the big things in our life.
22) You don’t have to carry things on your own, some people might be more than happy to help, just ask. 
23) Help when you can, but know when to stop and set your priorities 
24) Sometimes, not helping is helping people to figure things out on their own. You can’t save everyone. 
25) You didn’t fail, you just figure out 1000 reasons why it didn’t work out. Keep trying until you get it right this time. 
26) Go out of your comfort zone, its scary at first, but you’ll figure out.
27) Acknowledge and remember all the things you have been through, self acceptance and self awareness is also an achievements. 
28) Whatever you seek is seeking you too, be true to yourself. Good things will come to you.
29) Faith is the easiest and yet the hardest thing to do. Have faith and tawakkal over everything you do is His plans in making a better you. 
30) Every single things that happens in our life has been written by the one who created you. Rizq comes in many form, a good family, wonderful friends, a healthy body (even if you get sick is an opportunity to remember Him more). So, be thankful that you are still alive to do something about it.
****
31) Keep on learning…..hehe

Late bloomers

akhir2 ni jadi tempat org minta advice …
bab2 tak tau nak buat apa lepas grad, tak tau passion apa (sedangkan diri sendiri pun lost juga), lambat grad, lambat kawen dari orang lain…lambat….lambat ke? Bagi saya, orang macam ni adalah ‘late bloomers’, lambat berkembang tapi bila dah sampai masa, akan menyumbang kepada bidang yang memang sesuai untuk dia berdasarkan pengalaman yang dia kumpul sebab ‘lambat’ ni.
hurmm mungkin sebab saya ni memang jenis ‘lambat’ gak. Degree extend setahun, patut 3 tahun jadi 4 tahun sebab pergi exchange & masuk hospital sat kena tangguh dua sem. Parents cakap, takpa grad lambat, jadi ‘extended knowledge’.
Bila sambung master, setahun dok buat research quantitative, tup tup tak sesuai methodology, ubah jadi qualitative. Ubah suai thesis ikut cakap examiner, modify tajuk dan rewrite beberapa bahagian dlm thesis. Sebab kita tak boleh ‘paksa’ result tu untuk sama macam teori kalau ‘findings’ dia bukan macam tu.  Sama juga hidup kita..tak boleh paksa nak jadi juga macam kita nak, kalau kita memang tak ditakdirkan untuk dapat apa yang kita nak dan kena lalui proses dan jalan lain untuk sampai ke destinasi yang memang untuk kita. Lepas 4 tahun baru grad, tu pun jenuh kena paksa walaupun rasa nak berhenti je hari-hari hahahaa.
Lepas grad, banyak tolong parents buat research amik gambar, shoot video & my own little research yang saya minat (malay heritage). Mula-mula tu bercampur baur juga la perasaan macam rollercoaster, tapi lama-lama kita boleh terima yang ini satu proses yang penting untuk kita belajar dan berhenti hidup terkejar-kejar, jadi walaupun tak kerja yang bergaji macam orang lain, ada ja kerja nak buat dalam tak ada kerja tetap. Tanpa dirancang, sebenarnya saya sedang melalui proses ‘gap year’, iaitu dengan ‘taking a break’ daripada terus kerja dan buat apa2 bidang yang saya minat untuk tambah skill, orang putih cakap “Self development” tapi sebenarnya ia adalah proses “self discovery” bagi mereka yang tak tahu apa sebenarnya yang dia nak buat lepas ni.
Of cause… tak semua orang ada peluang ni, tapi jika ada ruang, ambillah peluang untuk volunteer bekerja di mana-mana tempat yang boleh tambah skill & pengalaman sesuai dengan minat masing-masing. Tak kira lah jika korang baru lepas grad ke, atau sedang kerja ke, carilah minat masing2 dan cuba sesuatu yang baru yang boleh tambahkan pengetahuan dan kemahiran masing-masing. Panjang atau pendek ‘gap’ yang korang buat terpulang pada korang, yang penting jangan terperangkap dengan routine sedia ada.
Wpun sekadar tukar rutin, dengan mula bersenam,join program2 hiking ke marathon ke, berenang ke, berkebun ke, volunteer ke, wall climbing ke, bermasyarakatlah semula…cari komuniti anda sendiri yang minat dengan apa yang kita minat. Dari situ kita akan belajar kenal pelbagai orang dan buka peluang untuk networking dengan orang-orang yang kita tak tahu satu hari akan membuka peluang baru yang boleh kita teroka & sesuai dengan minat kita.
Itu yang saya belajar sepanjang saya ‘berehat’ sebentar dari ‘berlari’ sebab saya sudah penat terkejar-kejar dalam persaingan dunia yang semakin hilang nilai kemanusiaan, tak ada sense of belonging dan semangat kekitaan dalam komuniti. Sebab saya tengok ramai yang bersikap individualistik dan hanya sibuk dengan dunia sendiri sampai kita terpaksa buat appointment untuk jumpa kawan sendiri sebab sibuk dengan hidup sendiri.
Semakin lama, saya bertanya pada diri sendiri “Apa yang saya kejar?”
Dan saya jadi ‘lost’ sekejap, dan perkara ini saya beritahu kepada si penanya,
“Its okay to get lost, because that’s how you will find yourself. Its okay to take your own time and explore your options, because that’s where you gain experience and learn to know what really suits you in the future. And one day, leads you to someone who is looking for the same thing you are looking for, who will want you because of who you are ” <—ni bukan pasal jodoh je tau, jodoh kerja pun boleh jadi hehe.
Apa2 pun saya memang jenis take my own time, and walk my own path, bukan melawan arus, cuma tak suka terkejar-kejar dengan ‘competition’ dunia. Mungkin dah memang tersurat perjalanan hidup saya memang bnyk detours & reroute….sebab yg plan tu Dia juga.
Jadi, kalau korang rasa macam apa yang saya rasa, bawa bertenang ye..rezeki untuk kita tu tetap ada jika kita berusaha dan bertawakal pada Dia. Kadang-kadang rezeki datang dengan cara yang kita tak disangka-sangka dari sumber , orang, yang kita pun tak sangka.
Jadi, bersangka baik dengan perancangan Allah swt, jika muslim. Jika bukan muslim pun, dalam Islam pun kami percaya yang rezeki sudah ditentukan oleh Tuhan tak kira kamu Islam atau tidak. Yang penting kita berusaha untuk keluar dari situasi yang kita berada. Berbaik-baiklah sesama manusia, bukan kerana nak minta ‘sesuatu’ dari orang tu, tapi kerana kita ikhlas nak berkawan dengan mereka, berjiran dengan mereka, sebab bila kita ikhlas dalam pekerjaan kita, tak kira apa yang kita buat, akan ada je orang nak tolong kita.
Kenapa? Sebab setiap perbuatan kita, ikhlas kerana Allah Taala, sebab kita tahu walapun orang tak balas balik pertolongan kita, Allah swt tahu apa yang kita buat, dan cukuplah Allah swt bagi kita sebab tak ada yang lebih baik yang boleh membalas setiap perbuatan kita melainkan Allah swt. Jadi ‘remove our thinking that ‘people’ owe us for what we do (tapi jangan lah sampai kena pijak atau digunakan), tapi mintalah pada yang memberi rezeki, yang Maha Kaya dan Maha Memberi. Barulah berkat hidup kan?
Gituuuuu….(boleh tulis buku motivasi ni hahaha)

Stories of the Day: Amiera

This post is in response to : Gap Year Option :

Gap year option: Varsity students to get a year off from study

Read More : http://www.nst.com.my/news/2017/01/203878/gap-year-option-varsity-students-get-year-study

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Meet Amiera Eifra , 19years old, who is on her own personal adventure to learn the wonders of Permaculture (‘Permanent Culture’ : a design system for ecological and sustainable living, integrating animals, plants, building, people and community).

Although she’s just finished her foundation in Law, she decided to take a gap year and use her time to reconnect with nature by learning how to grow her own food.

Starting from a two week
Permaculture Design Certificate (PDC) Course in Kuantan, which it was internationally recognized to transplant a food forest while at the same time learn how to integrate agriculture without destroying the forest but with the nature itself.

This sparked her dream to become a Permaculturist where she can be fully certified to teach and train future permaculture enthusiasts around the world. Thus she began her journey to learn as much as she can on Permaculture by becoming a volunteer and do her internship in many Permaculture based business around Malaysia.

Up till now, she learnt how to grow her own organic paddy, rode a Kubota, rear chicken, harvest stingless bee and many more. When asked why she chooses this path, she says that its the path that brings her closest to the nature as people become more disconnected with nature in their work that she feels a need to go back to the basics. Although its not an easy task, she enjoys playing with the mud and be in the nature where she belongs.

All of her experience can be followed through her blog where she shares on her ‘Permiventure’ (Permaculture Adventure)

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Her advice to young generation who wants to walk a different path like her,

“Choose a path and do it full heartedly!” 

https://eifrapermieventure.wordpress.com/