Change is never easy but sometimes its necessary.
I was working for about a month, it seems like a great place to start with although I may not like the environment. We were down from 3 to only two, and then down to only me as the only staff. It seems rather crazy how i managed to juggle between being all 3 of that into one person in charge of the whole office. Its a small office though but the stakeholders involves were wide enough I literally have no life, what more time for myself. I can even count the times I actually had time for myself for nothing but sleep. And i didn’t like it at all.
I do not want to be one of those people who dreads monday, so even if i hated going to work, i did not want to hate being able to go to work and have a job. When i received my first pay, I didn’t felt happy, I just see it like a number on my bank account. I don’t even know what to do with it other than save most of it to pay my student loan and pay off some of the advanced money my dad gave me for renting the house nearby.
Having money did not make me happy, even the job did not make me happy, I was nothing but empty. It was obvious, the signs, that I was not growing , except my management skills and networking skills , I was stagnant. Everything became an unpredictable routine. I live by the week, week by week, and suddenly one month contract are over.
And suddenly that very sign made me quit, how they did not respect the fact I am just a human being, and not a robot. Even machine breaks down when you keep on working on it too much. I was exhausted.
That was it, the signs even though I later on find myself lost when i didn’t have a job afterwards. But that day when I no longer have to work for them, i had the best , longest sleep I’ve ever had in a month. Though at times I still find myself waking up only to feel like going to work and be reminded that I quit lol!
Still, I have plans, just that those plans takes time to plan it out. It was hard at first trying not to worry much on the sudden don’t-have-a-job phase but at least my parents supported my decision and understand that it is better to not stay where I am not happy.
So now, whatever happens, I hope will lead me to the path I am supposed to go. But in the mean time, I will just focus on what is in front of me rather than dwell on the past. The future is now.