After 4 years….

me

Its been four years since I started my research and perhaps, I can share with you that I am have submitted my thesis, to prepare me for my viva (thesis defence).

I apologize to everyone that I had to say no to, or unintentionally ignored, or hurt throughout this emotional rollercoaster ride.

So here, I would like to thank each and every one of you who have been helping me with my research directly or indirectly, those who spends time with me virtually or in real life (thank you for sharing your time), and for the kind words of encouragement, also for the jokes and laughter shared to cheer me up in my darkest days.

Since that I only have one page to write my acknowledgements, I extend my gratitude towards everyone here. To other friends who is still struggling with their own research, keep on searching, you may not be there yet but you are on your way. Thank you.

All praise goes to Allah swt the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. 

***

Research is like a long distance marathon,

You cannot sprint too soon, or you get tired halfway through the marathon.

You have to keep the pace, take a short (or lots of) break and continue running.

By the end of the finish line, your knees are shaking, your body aching and pretty much drenched in sweats, and you feel like crying almost to the point of giving up.

That’s when the real test begin, you and your own mind because that’s when you will start doubting yourself, scared and all kinds of negative feeling slowly get into your head.  And I admit, I do feel that way a lot of time. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Only God knows how tired I am right now even if you think you are almost finished, you still try to find the strength to carry on. And to find that is through the people who keep on cheering you as you run, they are the reason why you keep on going,  the ones who see you fall and getting back up again. The ones who believed in you, and your ability to overcome adversities.

Choosing research is not an easy path, but somehow, you just have to push yourself through it all.

Because only, and you alone can finish your own race.

You compete with yourself.

Whenever you feel like giving up, close your eyes, take a deep breathe and think of these people in your life. At the end of the day, it’s your journey.

You are your own cheer leader. So seek within you and it will drive you through the finish line. Have the courage to try just one more time, procrastinate, procrastinate better, fail, and fail better, give yourself a break, and sit through your darkness for as long as you need but always, always come back and try again.

One day, you will look back and feel glad that you didn’t give up.

(*Its not just a mere scroll, but a combined effort of everyone who help us through. You are never alone.)

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