Me, every year:




Dear future me

Don’t let yourself be taken for granted

If people mistreat you, speak up, don’t keep it to yourself

You are only going to hurt yourself. Don’t let people treat you the way you shouldn’t be treated.

If you made a mistake apologize, there’s nothing wrong with swallowing up your pride if you are doing that out of your own mistakes.But if its isn’t then don’t own up to a mistake that weren’t your fault

Don’t take the blame for something you did not do, stay firm, be firm to yourself that you are not the one who should be blamed.Don’t let what other people think of you get into your head.Nobody is perfect, so are you.

Dont believe what people say about you easily, most of the time they were only thinking of what they expect you to be.

Don’t try to meet their expectation, you do not live because of what other people expect you to be. Live up to your own expectation.

You can change but make sure its because you want to change not because of other people asking you to change to fit their idea of who you should and should not be.

Evaluate whether there is some truth, reject them if they are not. But do it kindly, resist from trying to hurt them back, you are not there to hurt them, you are there to help them

Its okay if they can’t see it the way you see it , you were just being straightforward, and you said only what they need to hear not what they want to hear.

Don’t sugar coat what you want to say, the truth hurts even if its bitter, if they cant handle the truth then let them. You are better off without such negativity. Remove them , its going to hurt now but you will heal, it will get better. Find better friends, else, make yourself a better person.

You can’t change the way people think of you but you can always change the kind of people you surround yourself with. You do not need such negativity, you live your life long enough to put up with peoples crap, its about time you stop doing that and put yourself first.

Sometimes you just have to be selfish to people who is selfish enough not to realize how they have been treating you and other people. Do not make yourself an excuse that they can change , they wont, because they will just stick to their own ego and remain the same.

Nobody can change except themselves. You change too, because it is crucial for you to make changes in your life, you cant remain the same person you were few years ago, else you wont grow, and you want to grow right? So do yourself a favour, stop giving people too many favours!

Sooner or later you will find yourself making the best decision, protect yourself from getting hurt , from being brought down by these people , and from yourself.

You don’t have to apologize any more, if they cant accept that, then its up to them. Walk away from the things that no longer make you happy, if they are a real friend, they will come back, else don’t expect people to come back. You don’t need negative people to lead a positive life.

Be positive, always, every day, because that’s all you need to be. Think of all the good things you have, all the good friends who is there for you, think of the family you have, think of all the good thing in the world, so that you don’t have time to think of the bad stuff.

Don’t focus on one single event that hurts you, focus on the bigger picture. Make yourself busy, focus on what you need to do now than remembering all the things that should be left in the past, there’s a fairly good reason why it should stay there.

Not everyone will make it to your future, but for those who  does, thank them, be good to them.  Keep the old friends but open yourself up for new ones, don’t focus on the one person who choose to walk out from you, let them go. There’s no point asking them to stay if they don’t want to, you’ve tried,  and that’s okay.

Don’t try to fix things that you cannot change, its not within your control. Let go of the things beyond your control, take control of your life. There’s no time to lose what you have built so far, you will gain more friends , more good things once you have cleared out the baggage, loosen up a little but don’t let yourself lose yourself in the process of loving others. You are your own person. No one can take it away from you.

Never give anyone the power over you, the only power whom you can surrender yourself to is God alone. So submit to Him and Only Him. There’s always a reason why He removes us from the heartache, in fact He is saving you from all these people so that you don’t get strayed away from His path. You know what happens when you put others beside Him, even if you don’t mean to do that. Sometimes, we forget, and that’s okay.

What is important is that you realize your mistakes,remember Him and He will remember you.

Don’t dwell on your past, move on, live in the present. The choice you make today will shape who you are in the future. So make a good decision, learn from the bad ones. And maybe, just maybe, you are going to make the greatest decision you have ever made.


Present Me.

Things you learn in the past 28 years

Since I be turning 28 within a few days, I decided to sit down and write the 28 things I learnt base on my experience.
1. You ARE getting older. Deal with it! It never bothered me when I was 17, in fact I look forward to being older than I was.It didn’t bother me even until I was 25 because I look younger than my real age. It was until I started to feel tired easily, or when chocolates and junk food no longer taste the way I used to love it that I finally realize the fact I am getting older. You can no longer run as fast as you could, or walk more than the road you used to walk in, and pretty much can’t do a lot of things as good as you used to be good at before. So learn to accept the fact that you are no longer as young as you thought you’d be and that’s okay.
2. Things don’t necessarily turn out the way we expected so don’t put too much expectation, be open for changes. I always imagine how I’d turn out when I reach my 20’s and wonder what I will look like. But when I hit my early 20’s , it didn’t turn out the way I expect it to be but when I look back at how and why it didn’t and finally see why it was better off that way, you start to see things differently and accept the changes the way it is.Sometimes you can’t always meet people’s expectation, sometimes even people you thought would never change, changed. Everybody change a little bit of ourselves the older they get, even if we think we won’t. Be it a good change or a bad one, it all depends on how we deal with such change. Sometimes its just the right change you need in your life, even though it means we have to learn the hard way, but if its too bad, perhaps its time to change things around and leave the bad stuff behind, For example, I was bad in math back in school and always felt bad not being able to score it. But then, i finally accept that I was never going to be good at it, and focus on the subjects I was better in rather than trying too hard on subjects that I was bad in. In the end, I felt better because I know now that it wasn’t because I am bad in math but because I was better off in subjects that doesn’t involves math like reading history books , or writing English essays and such. So when I applied for my degree, I chose a degree that doesn’t involve math that can bring out the most in me that will match my personality.
3. Focus on the good things that will lift you up and move away from negative things that will only bring you down. A lot of times I’d hit rock bottom about the things people say or do to me. Sometimes it bothers me so much I’d go depress for days before I can finally get back on my feet and stop feeling too bad about it. After encountering quite a lot of people who keeps on pushing your limits or stomp your feelings and do just about anything to your heart. I just had enough and walk away from these people. People who only gives you negative comment without giving any constructive alternative to whatever they criticize were either plain ignorant or trying to bring you at the lowest point so that you wont beat them or get too far from where they are now. So don’t bring yourself down to their level and keep on doing what you are always good at, but be kind to them anyway – revenge wont get us anywhere, instead it will only make us the same person like the person who tries  to bring you down. You are better than that, so don’t make yourself less than you deserve.
4. Reach for what you always dream to do now instead of waiting for it to be done when you are older, because you will never get it back the way you want it to be. Time flies so fast that I realize that I am no longer as young as I thought I’d always be. So there’s a lot of things that I wanted to do but never did because I wanted to wait for the right time or until I am old enough to do that.But by the time I reach the age I wanted to do it, I didn’t have the time for it and forget all about it. Take the first step and improve from then onwards, its never too late to reach for something you always dream of.
5. If you love yourself, take care of your health from now, it will change your future health. You will thank the younger you for doing that. Even though you think you won’t get a deadly disease now or suffer on what they call ‘old people’ disease, you are wrong, there are so many young people now who gets diabetes early even though they live a healthy or unhealthy lifestyle. So check your family history and the kind of disease that is in your family and take necessary step to avoid getting it. Just because your family gets it, it doesn’t mean you won’t get it, sometimes its genetic, but sometimes, you can still avoid it. So , you might want to start taking care of your health as early as possible, one thing that will help you later, Eat your veggies and control your sugar intake. It will not just help you look younger than your real age, but also keep your health in good shape while your friends start to have diabetes, or high cholesterol, and all that.Oh and if you are smoking, try to reduce the number of cigarettes you smoke slowly, and if you are curious, don’t start – even if you are just a casual smoker, it can grow into habit if we don’t stop as soon as possible. You could live a little longer to see your children grow up and have their own children (but of cause death can come unexpectedly). Habits die hard, the older you get, the stronger you will have to fight it off. So kill it before it kills you!
6. Disconnect to reconnect The internet are both a blessing and a curse, use it too much,and you will miss out your life being online most of the time than actual conversation. So once in a while disconnect yourself from the virtual world and reconnect with the friends you haven’t met a long time, or go out and meet new friends,talk to your parents or elders as much as you can, find out their life before they were this old and you’d be surprised how similar you are with them more than you thought you’d never be. They were once as young as you do, so don’t treat them as if they don’t know anything. Believe me, they had those afro’s, long hair, pierce and tattoos, leggings or jeggings that you thought you first discovered. Most of the fashion we have nowadays are just a recycled fashion from the past. Try ask them some tips, they might show you a few tricks that might be useful in the future.Meanwhile, try to connect with those younger than you, generation Y as you may know them as, were as clueless as we were back then, only thing is that they grew up in a different environment than we had before. But it doesn’t mean they are any less, they just need a little push and someone to point the way. You’d be surprise how much potential they actually have in them more than you expected.
7. Its better to show how its done than criticizing on what people have done.
Everyone have their own way of doing things around, so if you are not satisfied by how people do the things you want them to do, show them how to do it rather than criticizing them. Just because its not done your way, it doesn’t mean that they are wrong, we just have different ways in handling it so if we don’t tell how it should be done, then you will never work it out. Working together can sometimes bring out a better solution. What is important is to get the job done, making negative comments wont make things better. Don’t expect people to already know what you know, we can’t read people’s mind, so tell exactly what you want in a less intimidating way and people would gladly help you. Its not what you say, but ‘how’ you say it will make a big difference.
8. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, there’s always another day to be independent. All you need to do is ask.
You’ll be surprised how many people willing to help you, of cause not everyone can help you, but there are people who are willing to help you if you allow them. But if you can’t find help from anyone, its probably because God is trying to teach you how to help yourself.
9. Never let people’s opinion on you define who you are. You define. There was a point in my life, I actually believe some things people think about me. It took me some years later to realize that what they thought of me were not true. Still, I thank them because it lead me to who I am today. What is important is how you see yourself, and not what others think of you. It is after all their opinion, not yours.
10. Sometimes you need to drop your ego, and make relationship work. But if it doesn’t, stop trying to make things work your way. If it should happen, it would have.
If you really care about a person, set aside your ego and focus on what really matters. But if they don’t try to make things work as much as you do, leave it. Don’t waste time trying to fix things that you cannot fix.
11. Respect yourself enough to tell people you had enough with whatever crap they throw on you. If they can’t respect you, then so shouldn’t you give them any attention. Most of the problem are created by people who is seeking attention to whatever miserable life they are going through. If they continue giving you the same problem every now and then, its probably time for you to stop letting them waste any more of your time. Its obvious that they are not interested in fixing their own life, so why bother?
12. Its okay to remove certain people in your life, you are much better without them
By cutting the bad branches, you will grow a new one in time, even if the one’s who replace them may not be exactly the person you once shared good memories with, but they will be much better than the ones you had to leave behind. Once a while you will find people who is toxic for you, they can be very negative in certain things you do, and pretty much determined to bring you down. If you have tried your best to work things out between you both, but still don’t work, remove them. In any relationship, you need to grow, so if you can’t grow healthily with each other, stop hurting each other and leave. There’s no point arguing on the same thing over and over again. These people will only hold you back, true friends will help you grow and not tie you down.
13. True friends are hard to find, stay true to yourself, the right ones will find you.
Its much easier to make friends once we stop trying to find a certain quality in our friends that meets our expectation. They never come in the same way we expect them to be, so  are we to them. The best way is to just let things happens for itself, and be a friend. Maybe we will find that true friend we always wish for, maybe we don’t. What matters is to not let whatever stuff that happens before stop you from knowing new friends regardless who they are.
14. If you are good, you are good. Just do what you are already good at and good things will come to you.
There will always be people who will talk bad about you or try to make people think bad about you. Ignore them and focus on your life. You don’t need to bother about any of that, they are just distracting you from achieving your goal.
15. Recognize your weakness and turn it into strength
Admit it, we are not perfect. Accept that we are different than other people , its what makes us unique. If you tend to have negative thoughts about yourself,replace that thought to positive ones about yourself. Don’t let it stop you from becoming who you really are. For example, you need a certain amount of stubbornness to keep you determined in achieving your dreams.

16. Give up your expectations and be happy about it when things didn’t go the way we expect.We expect too much on people and when they don’t turn out to be the way we expect, we get disappointed. Learn to live without a certain expectation from people, at least you wont be disappointed and make your life much easier. And if it doesn’t go the way we expect it, be happy about it anyway. Sometimes unexpected things can turn out better than the one’s we hoped for.

16. Try something new. Be it a new hobby, new skills, a new place to eat, anything that you haven’t done before. You may or may not like it, but at least you tried. It makes your life more exciting and give you something to look forward to rather than stick to your daily routine. Mondays should be exciting new day to explore if you know how.

17.  Take responsibility.
No matter how hard it is, you have to start taking control of your life. No one is going to do that for you. You have to figure out yourself what you want to do next, even if you don’t have a definite plan for your future, start drafting out where you want to be in the next 5 years and work towards it as you go.
18. Start saving
Even if its just a few Ringgit every day, learn not to save just for rainy days but your future. I learn this quite late, but its never too late to start saving. Don’t get yourself into debt too long, and pay back peoples money as soon as possible because we don’t know if we will still be alive to pay everything we owe to them.
19. Learn to enjoy solitude
Sometimes all you need is to be alone and just spend time with yourself. It will not just strengthen you, but help you figure out the things in your life that have been bothering you. You need to be able to silence your thoughts and be in tune with yourself to be able to appreciate your own company. .

20. Give up your expectations and be happy about it when things didn’t go the way we expect.

We expect too much on people and when they don’t turn out to be the way we expect, we get disappointed. Learn to live without a certain expectation from people, at least you wont be disappointed and make your life much easier. And if it doesn’t go the way we expect it, be happy about it anyway. Sometimes unexpected things can turn out better than the one’s we hoped for.

21. Facebook news feed are not reliable. Don’t share what you don’t know for sure.  Always check your source and verify it first before sharing anything.
22. Resist yourself from commenting on unnecessary things people post on facebook. Hide their news feed if you don’t like it, unfriend them if they overstep your limit. 
We tend to forget that there are real people behind the virtual profile we are looking at. So be careful with what you post and comment on peoples facebook, it will be such a pity to severe ties only because of some ridiculous things we post online. Its not even a real fight!
23. If its not your problem, don’t make it yours.
Sometimes you have to let people solve their own problem, you can offer them help, but you must also know when not to. Sometimes it helps by not helping. People need to learn their own lesson the way you did.
24.  Its your reaction towards the circumstances you are hand over that matters  
There’s a difference between being reactive and acting on the problems we are dealing with. People may give you a hard time, but with the right attitude and action towards it, things will get easier. Try not to take things at heart and be offended by what people say, its their personality, not yours.
25. There are no perfect family, you may not like each other but love them the way they are.  They are all you got so try not to kill each other.
Just kidding. hehe. Each and every one of your family member are unique in their own way, they will get on your nerve, you will fight with them once a while, but they are your family. Thats all that matters.
26. Its okay to make mistakes, its okay to be vulnerable, its okay to breakdown, you don’t have to be strong all the time. It means you are human.
Learn to let go of yourself a little and allow people to take care of you once in a while. There’s nothing wrong with feeling weak, we need all the support we can at such time. And hugs can be surprisingly kinda nice hahahah (proceed with caution.)
27. Love is more than just finding the right one.
Instead, focus on filling your life by loving yourself and treating yourself right. The right one are probably doing the same thing, they may get a little lost themselves but you’ll find each other when the time comes. Learn to be happy with your single life and enjoying it as much as you can, your happiness depends on you not others. They are just an added value, but its you who owns your own value.
28. You will never stop learning from your life, trust me , there will always be something that will pop up in your life and turn your life upside down. We will always have to learn and relearn the same thing through out the year, only difference is it will be in a new form, new people, but pretty much the same thing or slightly different from the ones you previously had. What’s important is to not let our past experience stop us from becoming who we are, the choice we make today will shape the future we want to be in. Choose well.

On success

Its really subjective, to a person, success could mean, quietly climbing the top of a mountain and achieving your dream without boasting it to the world

To a business person is to share it to the world by telling about their business because it can invite future business partner to do business with you.

And a whole lot of other meaning of success depending on who you are and how you want to succeed in life. For me, both ways works just fine, we can quietly achieve success alone, or together by sharing it to the world.

What is important is that when we reach the top, we should never forget the ones who have help you go up, those who supports you and help you go through the journey you are destined for. Better yet, be the one who help them get up because they are the ones who pushed you up when you were down below.

There are people who think that they did it themselves, but forget the invisible people who help them push our way up as we climb the mountain. And what is success if we have no one to share with ?

I have yet to define my own meaning of success, but when I do, I hope that I will be just as happy as those who have succeed before me.

On passion

I envy most to people who love their job and passionate about the things they do. When they talk about their job, their eyes glow, and they enjoy doing what they do best and were happy happy that they are not afraid to admit that they have failed at some point of their life. But never let their failure stop them from achieving their dream. These people learns from their failure to be able to carve their own path to success.

To be able to admit your defeat and get back up again after each fall is something that only we can conquer. Our fears and our weakness are overcome once we accept who we are and how much we can do. But it is from those fears it becomes our strength to carry on and give as much as we can to what we can offer to the world. The only enemy is , ourselves.

Environmental Bioindicator trip

A little gift for those who went to the Environmental Bioindicator Trip, especially to Dr. Widad Fadhlullah & her team as my way to thank all of you for the awesome experience i had in Kuala Gula, Perak since our last trip in Pulau Sibu, Johor. It was a pleasure be part of the program, although i end up soaked in mud, what matters is that that i had fun and an opportunity to get my head off my thesis for a while before going back to reality. hehe