Stephen Fry: The secret life of a manic depressive


Stephen Fry presents this documentary exploring the disease of manic depression; a little understood but potentially devastating condition affecting an estimated two percent of the population.

Stephen embarks on an emotional journey to meet fellow sufferers, and discuss the literal highs and lows of being bi-polar. Celebrities such as Carrie Fisher and Richard Dreyfuss invite the comedian into their home to relate their stories.

Plus Stephen looks into the lives of ordinary people trying to deal with the illness at work and home, and of course to the people studying manic depression in an effort to better control it. A fascinating, moving and ultimately very entertaining Emmy Award-winning programme.

source: Top Documentary

“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.

Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.”
– Stephen Fry

Celebrating failure!



“From failing you learn , from success, not so much!”

– Meet The Robinson

It took me by surprise that Disney finally came out with this kind of movie, its very rare to find movies that celebrates failure. I know this is a tad late by 7 years already haha but I don’t really get to watch too many movie for the past few years. What was I doing for the past 7 years anyway? Lol! Lets see, I was…starting my second year in university haha well it was a busy time for me. but better late than never.

I have quite a fond memory on failures, perhaps by now I was used to ‘failing’ in some of the things im not good at, only to realize that i am better in other things that suits me. Like that time when I failed math to a point where even my Add Math teacher cried because almost the whole class failed lol! I’m sorry cikgu, its not you, its us, we are just starting to get used to a new syllabus, but don’t count me on that, me & numbers just don’t mix 😛

If I could choose to do it again, I think I would prefer to fail, and fail even better for all the things I failed in because it lead me to where I am now. It doesn’t have to be academically, even as simple as cooking, which  I keep on burning, leaving out some ingredients, skipping some of the steps, or forgetting quite a lot of things (okay that doesn’t count..but failure to remember ..does counts? haha)

There are some failure’s i am not proud of, things that i was too childish to realize I was back then. But that was the year where we should be a child and act like a child, and yet, don’t let the ‘child’ in you dies with you. There are times we need to still have that kid in you because it will help us to still be that child who is not afraid of failing, who is not afraid of trying again, who is not afraid to speak their mind, and who will be nothing but themselves.

And i find this quite hard to still have it in us the more we grow up, the more we get afraid of the things that have not happened yet.  And we grew up being afraid of what people think of us, giving them the power to make us believe that we are not good enough – when we ARE good enough for ourselves. Because if we don’t accept ourselves, even the worst side in us, then who will?

We can always try to turn our weakness into something positive, like being stubborn can turn into being determined to do the things we wanted to do  and strive to achieve it no matter what the obstacles ahead of us.  Of cause this is with the awareness that we put it into good use, not for the bad stuff. Don’t take this literally.

Because sometimes, failing in one thing, don’t necessarily means we failed in everything or other things. Sometimes it just mean, we are just better off in doing something else, that fits us better. We just have to find out what it is that we are good at. But we have to be brave enough to try again or try new things, new way of seeing things, no matter how hard it is.

Okay, I may not be some big shot right now, but looking back from where I was and where I am now. I would never thought that I’d reach this far, or take this path. Although along the way I did  reach my lowest point, i stumbled, i fell, get back up again, my spirit level was like a roller coaster ride. It took me some time to realize that I have to share what i went through to my parents in order to get through my own internal struggle when it comes to research.

So I confided to my parents who ask me to find new friends who is in the same research field even if we are not in the same course, i joined a seminar, found new friends, though they may not be exactly the same as my friends back in my degree time, but they made me feel like i was never alone ..only thing is that we have different path but walking towards the same destination.

And slowly I learn to let go of all the things I thought I was going nowhere, and start to think of how to go about from where I am. I admit it was quite hard in the beginning to start again, and I almost feel like I’m lost again. But it wasn’t as much as before, because this time you have friends to support you whenever you fall back.

A good support system, that was what’s missing , and maybe a lil bit more discipline needed for someone who have the ‘heart’ of a Saggitarius, but the ‘mind’ of a Capricorn. Lol.. basically its more to heart vs mind. I do accept the fact that i play a lot, but when i do my work, i can forget the time , food, and my own health. So i had to make sure i eat on time, and learn to follow schedule (okay…okay not all…the time since the way i learn is quite different)

But what i discovered is that we work best when we are happy, better when we are passionate about it. So i learn to be happy even for the littlest joy like walking on the crispy dry leafs around my campus, or listening to the songs in my mp3, the soft wind breeze, or the gush of the wind whenever i go cycling in the evenings at one point, and even tried playing the drum which lasted a month but most of all spending my time with my family especially my niece & nephew who taught me how to be a kid all over again. I almost forgot how it feels to be that carefree and fearless. And they are like a reflection of who you were back when you were small.

So failure to me, is an opportunity to learn, and make better choice next time, or find better ways in overcoming our own weakness. and if it doesn’t work out, try again, and if it still doesn’t maybe its time to find other things that we may be better of doing than trying to get things to work out. Because sometimes, things just don’t work out the way we want, but the way God wants us. Whatever we go through now is to prepare us for the next big plan He have for us. So bear with it until its unbearable but do not give up on Him, you’ll find your way, just maybe not today? Okay i don’t know if i am making sense here but i hope you get what  i mean.




Conference , 2014

For those whose interested to join any of these conference, feel free to click the link below for more info.

Spread the words! 😉


Banner RCLK Web

Persidangan Serantau Kearifan Tempatan 2014 

(Regional Conference on Local Knowledge)

Venue: Riverside Majestic, Kuching, Sarawak , Malaysia
Conference Date: 12 & 13 October 2014




The Social Sciences Postgraduate International Seminar (SSPIS) 2014

Venue: Universiti Sains Malaysia, Pulau Pinang, Malaysia.

Conference Date: 21 October 2014






When the world is done with you

You become self sufficient, in many ways, this is easier now, you sleep better, you hear yourselves laugh again for the first time, you begin to have mundane thoughts again, you build your first entire day without thinking your old life.

Soon comes the final chapter in your journey, probably the greatest moment in your entire life. This is the moment when you truly, honestly and blissfully just stop caring

Today’s the day!


Review: CEO


For someone who rarely watch malay movie, just to save myself from the headache and temptation to trash the quality of the movies nowadays ( this doesnt mean the hollywood movies are any better)

I must admit that, CEO gave me no reason at all to say anything but  good things, i had a good laugh and enjoyable time through out the whole film. Even though i am not a fan of Remy Ishak, but he did manage to make me like his character by then.

I do love Crissie and Beto together (after Redza Minhat) , but i hope that in the future, Crissie can take up a more emotionally challenged character than a safe everyone’s sweetheart. Since i believe she can give her own character some spice in it for some change. However, i still do love you Crissie…hehe

As for Remy, i would like to give a special credit for changing some of his acting style, it was totally unexpected for him to come up with a ‘theatrical’ side in him which only those who watch this movie will know what i mean. It was certainly a good twist , either purposely done by the film maker, or the initiative of the actor himself. Whoever responsible to that deserve the credit, as well as Remy himself for changing his acting style.

Beto, pulled off his character pretty well, and continously surprise me. Since in Aku, Dia & Tong Sampah, he was not as hilarious as Pian did. But he still have that sweet guy touch in him without overdoing it.

The movie, did managed to give two different perspective of what is the true meaning of being rich and poor according to their own perspective. Therefore while we laugh about all the things that happened between Beto & Remy life changes, we did somehow understood the message of this movie. If you dont get it by then, thats too bad.

I do however hope that there would be more scene between Pian & Nina since all they do was spend most of their time in the office. I thought they would be joking around in the office probably racing each other on a chair, playing with the photocopy machine, or something that draws them closer other than just working together and somehow hide inside Tan Sri’s cupboard. But i guess, thats not up to me but the directors creativity.

The lift scene when Pian brought his friends over to his house was hilarious, as well as swimming pool, but i wonder what happen to Pian’s manager who asked about his aim in life, she somehow left the scene without proper goodbye? Oh well, cant do much since i understand there is time constraint in making movies. So its probably not necessary.

Overall, its a good movie, that will give you a good laugh especially the Drum beat scene, i cant remember what technique was that called when you make a comedy, but its a good punchline without needing any script to be repeating the same joke in different style.

So, for those who haven’t watched it, go and watch it fast since malay movie running time dont last long enough compared to hollywood movies.