Celebrating failure!

 

 

“From failing you learn , from success, not so much!”

– Meet The Robinson

It took me by surprise that Disney finally came out with this kind of movie, its very rare to find movies that celebrates failure. I know this is a tad late by 7 years already haha but I don’t really get to watch too many movie for the past few years. What was I doing for the past 7 years anyway? Lol! Lets see, I was…starting my second year in university haha well it was a busy time for me. but better late than never.

I have quite a fond memory on failures, perhaps by now I was used to ‘failing’ in some of the things im not good at, only to realize that i am better in other things that suits me. Like that time when I failed math to a point where even my Add Math teacher cried because almost the whole class failed lol! I’m sorry cikgu, its not you, its us, we are just starting to get used to a new syllabus, but don’t count me on that, me & numbers just don’t mix😛

If I could choose to do it again, I think I would prefer to fail, and fail even better for all the things I failed in because it lead me to where I am now. It doesn’t have to be academically, even as simple as cooking, which  I keep on burning, leaving out some ingredients, skipping some of the steps, or forgetting quite a lot of things (okay that doesn’t count..but failure to remember ..does counts? haha)

There are some failure’s i am not proud of, things that i was too childish to realize I was back then. But that was the year where we should be a child and act like a child, and yet, don’t let the ‘child’ in you dies with you. There are times we need to still have that kid in you because it will help us to still be that child who is not afraid of failing, who is not afraid of trying again, who is not afraid to speak their mind, and who will be nothing but themselves.

And i find this quite hard to still have it in us the more we grow up, the more we get afraid of the things that have not happened yet.  And we grew up being afraid of what people think of us, giving them the power to make us believe that we are not good enough – when we ARE good enough for ourselves. Because if we don’t accept ourselves, even the worst side in us, then who will?

We can always try to turn our weakness into something positive, like being stubborn can turn into being determined to do the things we wanted to do  and strive to achieve it no matter what the obstacles ahead of us.  Of cause this is with the awareness that we put it into good use, not for the bad stuff. Don’t take this literally.

Because sometimes, failing in one thing, don’t necessarily means we failed in everything or other things. Sometimes it just mean, we are just better off in doing something else, that fits us better. We just have to find out what it is that we are good at. But we have to be brave enough to try again or try new things, new way of seeing things, no matter how hard it is.

Okay, I may not be some big shot right now, but looking back from where I was and where I am now. I would never thought that I’d reach this far, or take this path. Although along the way I did  reach my lowest point, i stumbled, i fell, get back up again, my spirit level was like a roller coaster ride. It took me some time to realize that I have to share what i went through to my parents in order to get through my own internal struggle when it comes to research.

So I confided to my parents who ask me to find new friends who is in the same research field even if we are not in the same course, i joined a seminar, found new friends, though they may not be exactly the same as my friends back in my degree time, but they made me feel like i was never alone ..only thing is that we have different path but walking towards the same destination.

And slowly I learn to let go of all the things I thought I was going nowhere, and start to think of how to go about from where I am. I admit it was quite hard in the beginning to start again, and I almost feel like I’m lost again. But it wasn’t as much as before, because this time you have friends to support you whenever you fall back.

A good support system, that was what’s missing , and maybe a lil bit more discipline needed for someone who have the ‘heart’ of a Saggitarius, but the ‘mind’ of a Capricorn. Lol.. basically its more to heart vs mind. I do accept the fact that i play a lot, but when i do my work, i can forget the time , food, and my own health. So i had to make sure i eat on time, and learn to follow schedule (okay…okay not all…the time since the way i learn is quite different)

But what i discovered is that we work best when we are happy, better when we are passionate about it. So i learn to be happy even for the littlest joy like walking on the crispy dry leafs around my campus, or listening to the songs in my mp3, the soft wind breeze, or the gush of the wind whenever i go cycling in the evenings at one point, and even tried playing the drum which lasted a month but most of all spending my time with my family especially my niece & nephew who taught me how to be a kid all over again. I almost forgot how it feels to be that carefree and fearless. And they are like a reflection of who you were back when you were small.

So failure to me, is an opportunity to learn, and make better choice next time, or find better ways in overcoming our own weakness. and if it doesn’t work out, try again, and if it still doesn’t maybe its time to find other things that we may be better of doing than trying to get things to work out. Because sometimes, things just don’t work out the way we want, but the way God wants us. Whatever we go through now is to prepare us for the next big plan He have for us. So bear with it until its unbearable but do not give up on Him, you’ll find your way, just maybe not today? Okay i don’t know if i am making sense here but i hope you get what  i mean.

 

 

 

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