Für Sie

I learnt that we don’t have to have too many friends but only few good ones worth keeping. It doesn’t matter how many friends we lose but who stays with you even after knowing your flaws. And though i may seem to be selective of who I choose to be friends with, its only those whom I feel like I can be more of myself and those who brings out the best in me, who’d see through the real me, and accepts you for who you are.

Don’t we all?

So today, i realize how much a very good friend have touched me, when my tears streaming down out of nowhere the moment that person comes across my mind. I try not to remind myself of the fact she’ll be leaving Malaysia in a week time, but somehow it just pops up in your mind and you find yourself sobbing all the way while you were walking alone with all these flashbacks going through you. Although i know she’ll be back but somehow it feels so much different now than the last time she went abroad for holiday. You genuinely feel happy for them but somehow you feel sad that you will no longer get to spend time the way you used to. I was never good at goodbyes. Yes, I am referring to you, who probably be commenting after reading this.

‘So yeah, this post have no whatsoever reason except the fact that im gonna miss you real bad!!

Ich vermisse dich schon 

 

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To all my friends

I have come to a point where i choose my friends and don’t matter if they don’t choose me. because there’s always a reason why we don’t make it to be friends at some point of life. Or, why we were friends but never could be the same again when we weren’t. And how we weren’t friends but somehow became friends.

 In being friends, i’ve always welcome any new friends no matter who they are. as long as they really are a friend to me, other things don’t matter.  unless they start revealing they are not – then i don’t mind if we are no longer friends. but some day in the future, i will always miss that time when we were friends.

 there are friends, that i don’t have to be together too often but when we did even if its just once in a blue moon.  it was enough to make up for all the times we didn’t spend time together. we know too well that we don’t have to contact each other because we know that despite that, our mind will always remember each other. its just that due to certain reasons, we couldn’t meet that often. and that kind of friendship – i think we pretty much matured together to realize that – that’s my best friend

 there are friends who used to be my friend, shared a whole lot of time together. but due to certain reasons too – we went our separate ways only to come back and find each other again at the same road. although later on we took separate ways not because of the past, but somehow, we find new friends but we still want to keep the old – at least for the memories – at least for what we had – at least as friends because we still care for each other – that ‘was’ my friend.

 for whatever reason we were friends – and became friends again – or maybe some  who still weren’t my friends again, i really did cared for you and i know u did. if we are still friends, then that’s good, because i still care for you though we may not be able to change the past behind us – but we can still change the future – and being friends is the only way for us to make that happen.

 there are friends, whom by chance, by fate, by mysteriously ridiculous whatever way we became friends which i am yet to explore the friendship we recently gained. and for strange reasons, i open up to them, page by page, little by little, and hopefully one day, break the walls – no not fb wall – the wall inside me so that one day we can show who we really are – those are my new friends.

 but to those who is not close enough as friends – i still regard you as a friend. just that i may not be as close as you are with your own best friends,so  if we are not close,its only because you already have someone better off than me who have always been a good friend to you – a friend that neither i can reach that level of friendship you already have, and i know you are lucky to have them as much as i am lucky to have my close friends – that’s just a friend i know.

but out of all friends, there are friends, who just found the key to my heart without using a key at all.

because only the right person can open it because that person is the key – that’s my ‘future’ more than friend.

but for those who is already my friends – those who is close enough to realize that we are friends

i just want to say thank you for choosing me and you are welcome – i choose you too (“,)

Love,

 Sakiinah

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“Why did you do all this for me?’ he asked.
‘I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.’
‘You have been my friend,’ replied Charlotte.
‘That in itself is a tremendous thing.””

E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web

 

*an old post

Friends with benefits

Its getting hard to find a good friend these day. Its even harder to find a true one. Sometimes we say that some friends are just friends with benefits. But what is friendship when we don’t benefit from it? I’m not saying materialistically, but emotionally we tend to take benefit from others for the comfort and friendship we get to share with.

 And the more we grow up, the more friends we know, the less friend we actually remain friends. Sometimes it gets lonely to only have to rely on a few bunch of friends that sometimes, we would still go out with those friends which we know are only there in good times but not when we are in our worst.

 And its frustrating too to be at your worst but nobody there for us, we know God is always there, but we long for a human communication. Someone we can actually talk to and be with. Some people are fortunate to have their love life as their friend too, but some aren’t.

 I guess its normal to feel this way, you know, when you were little kids, you are friends with just about anybody. The whole neighbourhood would probably be your friends, you play with each other’s neighbour children together, that was your childhood.

 Then, you reach to school years, you go through the same process, you want to make friends, because you don’t want to be alone – perhaps some chose to be alone but only after realizing that they were better off alone without such friends that brings disappointments to their life or making a hell out of their life.

And if you made it to university years, the cycle begins again. This time, some may only be with a bunch of friends – a clique – a gang – a group that they can relate to or known for. And I must say, some are only joining these people for their own gain and power or something that can benefit them – as simple as an assignment,notes to as pathetic as being that extra member in a group work to get extra mark by doing nothing. Just pass it on to that self-claimed dictator who unfortunately knows how to do the job, or perhaps those who is not a dictator but too afraid to speak up – but hard working enough to do the job while cursing inside that they have been stepped on (or allowed themselves to be stepped on)

 Now that you have graduated, you are no longer looking for friends but only being friendly to those who can widen their networking. Rarely you can find a friend without finding those who just want something out of you ‘in the name of friendship’ by using you for ‘a favor’. And worst if you have to compete with them or them feeling threatened by your presence hence attempts to bring you down and establish themselves instead.

 The world is really a nasty world, it puts you to such tests that only the strongest can survive while the weak either quietly live their own life or worst – kill themselves. The culture that we are living in puts so much emphasis on life being a race rather than a journey, not to mention the fights against the strongest ‘race’ and it doesn’t happen only between the west vs east, the socialist against the capitalist, but even within your own race , its a continuity of maintaining each persons existence in life not realizing how short life is and how ridiculous it is for us to focus so much on what we can have in this world.

 Many empty hearts tries to fill their heart with endless material, money,power and everything they desire that even if you have the biggest heart, you will never satisfy your thirst and hunger.Even this, the fact that you come here in internet world, you are looking for something that can fill that emptiness in you. You continue blog hopping, posting, that is not basic human needs – but -wants.

 Humans are flawed, but it doesn’t mean you have to stay flawed. You can change yourself so many times but you will never be able to be the same person you were yesterday. You think you are the same person, but just ask the people you were friends with when you were a kid, in school, at work, you are not going to be the same. Because you grow up and gradually become a different person every day – for better or worse.

 So find yourself a good friend, so that the good that these friends carry with them can be a benefit to you and learn from the bad friends because even the worst friends, can be ‘benefited’ from.

“A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.”

-Prophet Muhammad SAW Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Hadith 314)

 

*an old post.

“I am looking for friends. What does that mean — tame?”

“It is an act too often neglected,” said the fox. “It means to establish ties.”

“To establish ties?”

“Just that,” said the fox.

“To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world….”

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

‘Believe’

Trying to convince yourself are much harder than trying to convince others

All you want is for someone to tell you that you can do this , and all that believe in yourself crap

But all you need to do is take a deep breath and believe in yourself enough because others believed in you and your ability

I know you can do this, the answers are right in front of you,

All you have to do is take that first step the way you tell others to make their first move towards your dreams.

You are closer to the future you are about to make, and once you start, nothing will stop you from running to the finishing line, except yourself

You are you own enemy, be friends with them, make them your allies.

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.

So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned.

Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!

-J.M Barrie