Its getting hard to find a good friend these day. Its even harder to find a true one. Sometimes we say that some friends are just friends with benefits. But what is friendship when we don’t benefit from it? I’m not saying materialistically, but emotionally we tend to take benefit from others for the comfort and friendship we get to share with.
And the more we grow up, the more friends we know, the less friend we actually remain friends. Sometimes it gets lonely to only have to rely on a few bunch of friends that sometimes, we would still go out with those friends which we know are only there in good times but not when we are in our worst.
And its frustrating too to be at your worst but nobody there for us, we know God is always there, but we long for a human communication. Someone we can actually talk to and be with. Some people are fortunate to have their love life as their friend too, but some aren’t.
I guess its normal to feel this way, you know, when you were little kids, you are friends with just about anybody. The whole neighbourhood would probably be your friends, you play with each other’s neighbour children together, that was your childhood.
Then, you reach to school years, you go through the same process, you want to make friends, because you don’t want to be alone – perhaps some chose to be alone but only after realizing that they were better off alone without such friends that brings disappointments to their life or making a hell out of their life.
And if you made it to university years, the cycle begins again. This time, some may only be with a bunch of friends – a clique – a gang – a group that they can relate to or known for. And I must say, some are only joining these people for their own gain and power or something that can benefit them – as simple as an assignment,notes to as pathetic as being that extra member in a group work to get extra mark by doing nothing. Just pass it on to that self-claimed dictator who unfortunately knows how to do the job, or perhaps those who is not a dictator but too afraid to speak up – but hard working enough to do the job while cursing inside that they have been stepped on (or allowed themselves to be stepped on)
Now that you have graduated, you are no longer looking for friends but only being friendly to those who can widen their networking. Rarely you can find a friend without finding those who just want something out of you ‘in the name of friendship’ by using you for ‘a favor’. And worst if you have to compete with them or them feeling threatened by your presence hence attempts to bring you down and establish themselves instead.
The world is really a nasty world, it puts you to such tests that only the strongest can survive while the weak either quietly live their own life or worst – kill themselves. The culture that we are living in puts so much emphasis on life being a race rather than a journey, not to mention the fights against the strongest ‘race’ and it doesn’t happen only between the west vs east, the socialist against the capitalist, but even within your own race , its a continuity of maintaining each persons existence in life not realizing how short life is and how ridiculous it is for us to focus so much on what we can have in this world.
Many empty hearts tries to fill their heart with endless material, money,power and everything they desire that even if you have the biggest heart, you will never satisfy your thirst and hunger.Even this, the fact that you come here in internet world, you are looking for something that can fill that emptiness in you. You continue blog hopping, posting, that is not basic human needs – but -wants.
Humans are flawed, but it doesn’t mean you have to stay flawed. You can change yourself so many times but you will never be able to be the same person you were yesterday. You think you are the same person, but just ask the people you were friends with when you were a kid, in school, at work, you are not going to be the same. Because you grow up and gradually become a different person every day – for better or worse.
So find yourself a good friend, so that the good that these friends carry with them can be a benefit to you and learn from the bad friends because even the worst friends, can be ‘benefited’ from.
“A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.”
-Prophet Muhammad SAW Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Hadith 314)
*an old post.