Yesterday, I was walking with a friend back to my hostel, the bus came and instead of running faster to catch the bus, I slowed down not wanting to catch the bus and decided to just wait for the next bus.
My friend asked me why I am not going to catch the bus, I told her, its okay, I’ll just catch the next bus. I am not in a rush, so it doesn’t matter. Slow down. I told her.
Puzzled, but she let me. By the time I reach the bus stop, the bus is still there, waiting for the next passenger, which is me, and moves only when I have ride on the bus
Strange as it seems, I no longer finds the need to rush, to catch a bus that I could never catch if its not meant for me. If its meant for me, I will ride the bus, it will wait for me. And it did.
I was already tired of running or chasing things in my life, and so now, all I want to do is just live the life as it is. I didn’t know what I was doing until I come across Eckhart Tolle‘s video, of cause I have not reached his level of ‘presence’. But its probably a good start.
I’ve lived in a rush half of my life, whether or not catching the bus, submitting assignments, one after another. Even in my own research, I tend to feel so frustrated when it didn’t go the way I wanted or thought it would be. I thought it was going to be easy, but it wasn’t. I thought the research is the solution to the world’s problem, but its not not even half of it. It was just part of the problem, which also have its own problem. But I am not here to solve the world’s situation.
And so now, I am slowing down, taking a step back and slowly sort it out, no matter how long it takes, I am going to figure out in the end, I will arrive to my destination at its own time. But in the mean time, I have to endure this for just a little bit more, as I mentioned elsewhere, the only way to live, is to give up. Give up your thoughts about what life should be or turn out, because its not within your control, You can only do this much of thing in life, and leave the rest to God.
If its meant to be, its meant to be, else, it was never yours.
But it doesn’t mean that you should stop trying, just not too hard that you make it the only thing in your life, that you didn’t realize the things around you, the people around you, the world around you, and whatever happening around you.
Learn to notice things, even a squirrel passing by you, or the birds chirping for you, or the flowers meant for you to smell, feel and whatever life is offering for those who took the time to stop and smell the flower.
In other words, I have probably arrive to the slow down generation phase, whereby I am now going to take the time to just live the moment the way it is..
And that’s okay 🙂