A mother’s advice to her daughter for marriage

A mother’s advice to her daughter for marriage

‘Abd al-Malik (radhiAllahu ‘anhu) said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umamah came into her, to advise her and said:

‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

‘The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

‘The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

‘Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.

‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah choose what is best for you and protect you.”

[Source: Jamharah Khutah al-‘Arab, 1/145]



such a wonderful advice


King Philip IV

Although this is just a prank, its actually a good idea. Museums should do this often to attract people and make it more interactive, in fact the actor could explain some of the history of the character they are playing rather than having reading on the facts. Nobody really reads it unless they are very interested in it

Music Malaysia – An Afternoon With YABhg Tun Siti Hasmah

When did I start? I started playing musical instrument during the Japanese occupation. We don’t go to school and so forth, so my parents said, okay you take up music and the three of us (Siblings) – I was first introduced with the vilolin, for three years of Japanese occupation. We were so good during the Japanese occupation, we were on the air as “Ali sister” at Radio Malaya. 

I didn’t know she plays! so beautifully!!

“It’s easy to u…

“It’s easy to understand why people lose perspective. The pressure to perform is overwhelming. It pushes people to strive for status, power, and money — regardless of the sacrifice. It pushes them to go it alone. We have a sense that we should be like the mythical cowboy … able to take on and conquer anything and live in the world without the need for other people

Have you found someone to share your heart with? Are you giving to your community? Are you at peace with yourself? Are you trying to be as human as you can be?

One hundred and ten years from now no one who is here now will be alive. When you look at it that way, you can see how absurd it is that we individualize ourselves with our fences and hoarded possessions

A community is far more powerful than an individual and that making an impact on that community is far more fulfilling than focusing only on individual goals

Happiness, comes from figuring out what gives your life purpose and then devoting yourself with passion to that purpose. Happiness comes from opening up to people, emotions, and experiences. But happiness also comes from knowing and accepting your limitations and imperfections

Everything that gets born dies. The best way to deal with that is to live in a fully conscious, compassionate, loving way….

Don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed to recognize that this is the only way to live.”

Morrie Schwartz, excerpts from Tuesdays with Morrie.

No one is alone…

No one is alone in their troubles; there is always someone else thinking, rejoicing, or suffering in the same way, and that gives us the strength to confront the challenge before us.
Does that include suffering for love?
It includes everything. If there is suffering, then it is best to accept it, because it won’t go away because you pretend it is not there. If there is joy, then it is best to accept that too, even though you are afraid it might end some day. Some people can only relate to life through sacrifice and renunciation. Some people only feel part of humanity when they think they are happy.
I’m in love and I’m afraid of suffering.
Dont be afraid. The only way to avoid that suffering is to refuse love.”

— Paulo Coelho, The Zahir