‘Maturity’

Can one become mature when they aged?

Can they still stay young as they are older?

Can they remain both no matter how old they are?

I don’t know

When I was young, I wanted to be old so I can play at the arcade, go out with my friends to the cinema, and have my own phone

But then when I did get what I wanted, all I want to do is play that pillow wars, or hide behind the mattress as my fort, go out to the beach and not having to rely any gadgets or phone with me everytime I go out

Every time I go out, I see people from toddlers to parents bringing out their smart phones and scroll down. Nobody talks to each other any more, they find it more amusing to talk on their smartphones, gobbling up the latest apps they can find, and ignore each other.

And whenever I see that, I have this urge to say to them, hold your urge to use your phone and freakin talk to to each other! Why are you so afraid of talking, and waste your time being afraid of something that wont matter anymore when you die? And you will regret that you didn’t talk when that person you have been ignoring dies one day. Then you wish you had not taken out your phone and use it as a tool to distract yourself from having conversation.

You see, phones, even books are a tool to zone out from the world, and the things around you by focusing one thing in your hand. Its as if you are telling others around you, don’t disturb me, I am doing something important here, Which is updating my status where I am eating right now, who I am with, and what I am doing. Even tweeting this out so people can know that you are here having an awesome time when in reality you are just looking at your phone updating this.

Back then when we had no phone, or when phones were only for our necessity, that we only call when we want to talk with someone for a long time, or get things done on the phone for a short time, when there was a dial button where you can turn the buttons one by one clockwise instead of pressing the buttons,   even at the time when you have to press the button, you felt a certain shiver or excited feeling that you are about to call someone who you want to talk to badly.

Or that time when you use the calling card, or putting in the coins after coins wishing that you can talk longer and then the phone beeps and you are running out of time and coins .

Or when people use to write letters, waiting patiently for their reply, listening to the sound of the postman riding their motorcycle, stopping at every house and you praying that he will stop at yours too. Walking out to the post box only to find nothing but bills to pay. But when you do, boy, how lovely that feels as you tear open the edge of the letter and read the writings on the piece of paper they have written only for you and only you. Be it love letters, pen pals, it was all for you.

If I go back to the village, and my relatives comes together and visit, all we do is talk, and catch up with each other. And I am very thankful that the old people still tries to do that and stow away their phone. So now that I am older, it was both awkward and exciting to finally be allowed to sit in with the old people and joke around them when you used to be asked to stay out of the area so the old people can talk.

Talking I believe is a skill that have been diminishing in this generation, it was replaced by a small chat, where you type a very limited few words , line by line before you can actually get the words out. If you were to talk to people, you have to consider every word that you want to say to them without being rude or hurt them with what you say. You think before you speak, you consider yourself in their shoes rather than your own, you listen…you damn have to.

But with all this online chatting and social media, you just click share without even thinking if its true or not, and some people just let the wrong info posts for a long time only to gain more Likes and Shares when they are well aware that its not the truth. You hide behind the computer not thinking that there is a person on the other side of the world who is also a person, reading all the words you wrote – who still have feelings for whatever they read.

Imagine what horrible damage can it be if thousands of people have been spreading the lies without realizing they weren’t true?  Imagine how many people sees it and feel angry about something that is not true? Do you get pleasure from seeing other people’s life ruin by it? Do you get pleasure to see how many people were angered by something that was not true. Do you see pleasure to see people killing each other, writing and bickering nasty words at each other. Do you feel proud to become a keyboard warrior, winning only the Likes of the posts you posted before?

Then, is that what you call maturity?

I am nearly 30 now, and I still don’t know if I have matured enough to not say things back at the people who throw nasty words at me.  Or whether or not it was right for me to clench my fist and grit my teeth from punching their stomach and biting their heads out. Or if I should just remain silent or stand up for what was right.

Sometime I stands up for the truth , sometimes I had to ignore every feelings I have and all the urge I felt to get back to these people.making up their lies.Sometimes even after letting go of those people, it still haunts you wishing that you did something about it and you have to push down you ego and swallow all the bitter feelings you had about them , because you don’t want to become the same person who did that to you.

You don’t want to become bitter, but you want to become better, People expect you to be somewhat better, and sometimes you just wish you weren’t because revenge was too tempting for you than not having one. And you fight with yourself between what’s right and wrong. You know too well that even if after getting back at those people who did you wrong, it doesn’t change anything at all except making things prolong a bit more than it was. You got torn in between.

So I find it funny for those who dares to say they have matured when they are 30 or 40 for even after being that old, one can still be carelessly be childish at 50 plus. I still see people who was over 30,  throwing childish tantrums at people around them, even after having children, they can still be what people say ‘immature’.

So really, do people grow up or grow old? And when they do, do they out grow their own character or do they still stay the same? And if they do stay the same, is that good or bad for wouldn’t it be good to know that person you knew back then is still as good as the person they were now? Or would it be bad that person you once knew are good, have somehow turn into someone you don’t even recognize they were all along?

I don’t know that either, all I know, you never stop growing old until you die. But as far as maturity goes? I have a long way to go for even until now, I still have a lot to learn.

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