During my data collection, I met so many strangers that I learn a lot from, strangers that I never expect to meet and know that some of them actually knows about Dinar Dirham more than I do, from taxi drivers to some customers sitting just across my table when I had my breakfast.
At first I thought I was asking them about Dinar Dirham, but I end up being asked about my research instead. Some of their questions somehow made me question myself of why I am doing this research, something that most researcher kept asking themselves whenever they are having a hard time trying to finish their research. I am not afraid to admit that I went through that as well, and was glad that I was not alone in that when I ask other friends doing research as well.
Even my parents, it took me sometime to tell them that I was having a hard time in doing this research. Lets just say that its not as easy as I thought it would be, it was also due to series of things I had to go through that pretty much builds up your emotion to the point of breaking down. For, at the beginning of yourresearch, you already have this idea of what you think it will be like, its like you already have a constructed view point of how it should be. But then when you actually go down and do your research, do your readings, verify your facts here and there from various experts, you realize how little you know about the topic, and how wrong you were that you have to deconstruct what you thought it is about, and reconstruct it again based on your findings.
Being asked about my research again and again by so many people the whole time I was doing this research, whether or not they are strangers or people I know, helps me to understand better about my research and also question myself of why I am doing this research. Hopefully it will also help me prepare for my Viva when the time comes for me to defend my research one day.
So when one of my respondent ask me why I am doing this research and how does this contribute to Dinar Dirham movement? I took a deep breath and tell that person, even though there aren’t many people who knows about Dinar Dirham , what more make a research about it ? I believe that it can contribute if not in a big scale like other researcher better than me, but at least a small contribution – academically.
What touched me was that person’s answer after I gave a small university pen – thanking them for participating in my research. That person say, “I am going to give this pen, and pass this down to my daughter so that one day, she can do the research as well in this topic.” That made my day and the rest of 365 days and counting days since I started my research.
Indeed, God works in mysterious way that you never expect how He will teach you and whom will you learn from, that even a mere stranger can be the answer to your prayers all this while. So whether or not they are just strangers or people I know , I sincerely thank all of you for believing in me and what I am doing. For if it wasn’t because of these people, especially my parents for their endless support. I would not have the strength to carry on this research up till now.
They say, research is one lonely journey, but I believe that you are not alone as long as you keep reminding yourself why you are doing this by remembering your family especially your parents and the people around you who believes in your dreams as well.
So to my friends who is doing research as well, or in whatever things you do, don’t give up for the only obstacle is ourselves. I know that some of you may feel like giving up as well, but like an advice from a friend who did their research as well, they congratulated you instead, that you have come to that stage of research where most researcher go through. And its okay, to feel that way, but its what you do with that feeling is what matters for sometimes, you didn’t really want to give up, you just need a little break, and see things from a different perspective, sort out your priorities, and find out the ‘real’ reason why you are feeling that way – sometimes its actually smaller than you think – or perhaps needed to be sorted out one step at a time.
It may not be easy to take the road less traveled by, but at the end of the tunnel, it will be worth it. The road may seem so far, you may even feel like you are taking small steps, but tell yourself that you are one step closer to your dreams. Sooner or later, you wouldn’t even realize how far you have walked until you look back at all the things you went through that lead you to where you are right now.
Although I am still far from graduating, but I know for one thing I am closer than I was before this and I wish the same goes for you as well.
“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.” – Paulo Coelho