If there is one word that was frequently used by now to my niece, Izzati , it would have been ‘No!’. Now that she is able to explore the house and a lot of other things on her own, baby sitting her is surely one tough job!
Last time,when she was writing on the old newspaper, just when I thought that she is going to her room ,she instead, tried to write on the wall of the house and automatically a long ‘No…..!!!’ came out from me (and the rest of her grandparents at the same time) trying to stop her from writing anything.
And so begins the struggle being a Cool & Rock Aunty S and the Strict-No-No Makcik style. While I would like to be giving her everything but I certainly do not want to spoil her, and while I may have to say No to some of her demands , I had to also consider what I can say Yes to her. And now that she can easily pick up some of the words and actions I do, I had to be careful not to unintentionally display the wrong idea or say the wrong words when she is around. Still, I would like her to enjoy the freedom and enjoy growing up as much as I did back then, so its really hard to draw a line between what she can or cannot do.
There are time, per say, she wanted to have chocolates, but I am not allowed to give her a lot of chocolate – one because of health, two because of my own ‘safety’ from getting a long lecture for spoiling her hahaha. The parenting job are done by the parents mostly but the Aunt/Uncle/Grandparents usually are the one’s where they will go to first if they can’t get it from the parents. And when that happens, well… that is rather delicate matter to handle.
Because an Aunt (at least to me) cannot be a parents since they aren’t the real parents, most of the time they try not to be parenting, since they very much prefer to be known as the Aunt rather than trying to act like their Mom. But at the same time, they had to babysit their niece/nephew where if I were to freely let her do anything she wants, she may become spoilt and probably not take my words seriously when I say No to certain things that may harm her – as typical parents who can’t or don’t want to explain a lot the reason behind their No’s often say “Its For Your Own Good”.
Interestingly often the case is that Izzati have her own stand and will only believe something is hot when she have touch and felt it, I believe that is normal nature for kids at her age to explore things around through her sense. But not all can things can only be believe by the touch, else she might burnt her finger if its too hot. However, she does listen at other instruction that she cannot touch to believe it, showing that there are times she trust on those whom she trust their judgement which I recently realize a secret word for her to obey my order mwahah!
(Note: the word will only be use if she really misbehaves, followed by a facial expression to stress how serious I was when I say it hehe she may not like to be told but most of the time she does listens & will surprise you when she actually does )
Thus, it is often that as children, we are likely to follow what our parents used to do in that situation since that as we grow up we learn from what they do or act . No matter how much we try not to be like them, we end up to become them if not all but some parts of them will remain in us. Still, it doesn’t mean that we are hundred percent alike, since there is a lot of influence that needs to be filtered as we grow up, and thus it is us who have to decide what and who we want to be. And that what makes who we are today
p/s: Its hard to say No! when she knows how to psychologically make you say Yes! Tell me, how can you possibly say No to this face?