Gone With The Rain




Rain is a short form for  ‘Orange’, just died today after being knocked down by my sister as she parks the car to our house. We didn’t realize he was there until I came out from the car to close the gate only to find him struggling his last breath with blood scattered everywhere. It was horrifying for me to watch – helpless for not being able to do anything but look at his last hours. I was so shocked, I didn’t know what to do.

Rain/Orange, were my fave cat among the other two, one is Tam = Black & another I don’t know what to call her bcoz she is a mix of diff color. I am not good in naming cats. So I just call them for their color. My cat esp Rain loves to run after our car whenever we get home hoping for food, but today, he didn’t get his last meal.

When he died, his sibling was busy asking for food from my sister, but as they saw me going to the back to find a hoe to dig his grave that they realize their brother have died. They were smelling the blood in front of the car park. Even as I dug the hole, they were sitting there looking at their brother’s funeral.

I couldn’t look instead I continue digging, hoping that this will finish quickly since its going to rain and it was going to ‘rain’ too on my face. It was only after I have finished my prayer that it finally hit me, I was in tears remembering how I have been taking care of them since small. Looking at his pictures, I miss him more.

I know its not possible, but as I dig his grave, I took sometime to bury him, hoping that he’s still alive somehow since his body are still hot but seeing the flies starting to circle his corpse, I know he’s gone for good. Rain was always that ‘manja’ type among all, Tam was scared of me as he grow up, so does the mix color but Rain was the first to overcome his fear of me.

Though a ‘kampung’ cat, he was a good breed, he grow up very strong and tough compared to the other two being a bit skinny. His fur was well groomed even without being comb and when you touch his fur, its so warm that it can be your blanket when you are cold. And whenever I was down, I would just hug him and that was enough to comfort me.

I don’t really like to play with my cat often, one bcoz I have a minor asthma, two bcoz I didn’t want to feel too attached with my cat, else, I couldn’t let it go if they die. I don’t like to spoil them with food,so that they’d be a cat again since the previous cat I had was spoiled with only friskies that they only eat nothing but friskies. Even despite that, deep down, I love them.

My hand smelled like Rain because I was carrying him on my arms with a news paper to avoid the blood stain. Still, it smell strong that I can’t eat yet remembering him. I will eat later when I have the appetite though. No, I am not that type who wont eat when I mourn, its just that I need some time to absorb this fact before I can move on.

To Rain, may you rest in peace. I am glad that your death was quick enough, I hope you didn’t suffer too much.  Thank you for living even just for a short time, I know that Allah loves you more. Goodbye my friend (“,)


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