I am going to Johor today until Sunday. At first i was going there to attend a friend’s wedding as well as visit my grandmother. I haven’t get the chance to see her when i came back from Germany. Even when im back from Ireland i only get to spend one night at her house so now that my class have been canceled Thursday to Friday. I have more time to spend with her.
I don’t know why but this year have been a very challenging year for our family. First it was my grand father on my dad side, and now last Monday, it was my Tok Busu ( my grand mother’s younger brother) who was one of the closest in the family. Though i may not know him well, he have always been one of my favourite ‘ Tok’. Maybe because he have always been there in almost every ocassion, he was easier for me to be close with.
He was there when my ‘Tok Ayah’ is around, there when he was not, there when my brothers went for ‘sunat’ , the one who gave the ‘duit raya’ every year, i always love going to his house which i remember very well as the house with the Maroon Proton Aeroback, with a swing, and rabbits on his front yard. That big chubby ‘Tok’ with his cigeratte, who have a big voice, but was always cheerful and delighted to see us visiting him, who told a lot of stories when we came for ‘Raya‘, and whenever my parents chat until midnight with him, it was good for me because i can watch ASTRO longer. He survived an operation few years ago, but i guess he didn’t since that this time it was the last stage, and i feel bad not being able to go back and visit him esp for his funeral. It was strange but the night before i know about it, i was feeling very sad for no reason, i guess it is a sign. This Raya@Eid will surely be so different for both my parents side.
( Ive just realized that i never took a picture with him. sigh)
So, i hope when i go back, i will be able to spend more time with my ‘Mak Tok’. Afterall, the news must effected her most since that he is her brother. It always worries me to see the people i know to grow old everyday, esp the ‘Tok’ since that a lot of my Tok’s have passed away one by one. Reminds me of one of my Tok’s word ( i can’t remember who) whenever they hear people dies, it worries them the fact that the people they used to know have gone back to God one by one, and they wonder when will their time will be?
I read once about one of the oldest person in the world on what it feels to be the oldest people in the world is that she can only see people they know (their friend/siblings etc) die one by one that at some point you will be alone.I guess being the oldest person can be scary at times.
I don’t know who’s next but i am sure going to appreciate the people around me more seeing how short the time is for us. To my Maktok & Tok Jam now that both side are ‘single’, though you may not read this but i just want to say: